Tag: 419爱上海HA


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‘S asked me these days at home how, my answer is: live very well. After, mother and I debate, said for live as live, I explained passive life too, and live is from the Heart Survive. Then she said that my answer was artificial. I said it was true. If I communicated with others, I would answer well and others would think that I am a general person. Record life is actually very simple, simple as a pen and a piece of paper, like, every time with family and farewell, you always have such a feeling: a childhood scene, the laughter of relatives appeared in front of me one after another, but there seemed to be something to cover it invisibly and drag them away from me. Therefore, I felt reluctant to give up. I would say, if people have no memory will not have feelings, which was not a good memory people feelings rich. A few days, W said let me help him write local novels, also not know don’t take it seriously, I did smoke time pen, only wrote about two thousands of words, can’t write, not because say; The, just feel not interested, since no interest, I wouldn’t write. Unlike many people think, Writing is selfish for me. I am write for myself. W asked me if no one read what I wrote, would I still insist on writing? I didn’t say a word, but I felt that my answer was a bit far-fetched. Since I only wrote for myself, why should I publish it? My explanation to myself is: you put your ideas shop on paper, have flies, will have bee, you add idea away, for a long time, will moldy. Home, first thing, is open refrigerator, you know why? There are many stories, you will find mother bought a lot of snacks to refrigerator full, and you might discover where air-to-air, only a few left bun, plates of soup, after read the what, you should understand. I got out of the car and quickly dragged luggage go the hospital, I know mother is acute, pushed open the door, mother is lying in bed, body restore well, Her pain of war camp, I’m tan hospital training, until her surgery, is sister secretly tell me. During that week, I traveled back and forth between home and hospital every day. In the hospital, every day contact with either doctor, either is patient, a, a nurse to mother finished bottle left, mother told me nurse good, does she mean to find a nurse to be a girlfriend? In fact, she that nurses good or beauty limited consciousness in shape. I know why most people will think nurse is beautiful, hand, due to their paid dedication, most importantly they in face patients when the performance of accustomed to, and calm, and here we are not calm, or panicked, meaning they calm conquered us. This with men masculine conquer female delicacy is one thing. The patient? Patient is painful, but patients is also true, their inner unreservedly exposed, they pray for health, eager to live, even most bile fibrillation of dialysis. But, patients if constantly pain struggle on will only in washed-state, which made me think of, I glimpse at a ten-year-old boy in injection, also in cry, This is not due to our educational issues, also could be due? Not mentioning education you avoid, also don’t just think of college entrance examination that closely with you, and you don’t close, you also want to thinking. Most of the time, when we say that children have problems, we blame our system. Family, society, school and three parties are tripod, and one of them is too short, you push it down. In hospital, also such a thing happened, father in nursed her mother, heard from next door room someone crying, but also die what, father walked over and asked what happened. The woman tells the story of her bitter, things like this, Woman family is honest, often taken in by next-door neighbors bully, land also is occupied, neighbor by their relationship, so bully their home more than ten years, not long ago, it to woman in-laws wounded, parents-in-law has seventy elderly. Father look to go nevertheless, promised to help their home for someone to handle this, woman said: We can spend it, how much money does not matter, but now is rich can’t spend, father will find friends help them home regulation okay it, but outcomes is not very perfect, but after all, it was handled well. After that, my father still kept thinking about it. My mother sometimes said that he liked to meddle in his own business. The fact was like this. But as for whether he was meddling, I think, not your own things can be called meddling, what do you think? Before my mother had an operation, I had a phone call with her. She said she was a little scared. I joked, “who has not been in the operating room for several times in his life? If you really observe the people around you, also is such. You lie on the bed, looking at the light on your head, dazzling. At this time, the anesthetic has been injected into your body quietly, and you will only feel a slight stabbing pain. People say that mother and son are connected, and I think it is true, inexplicably feel the pain in my heart, this feeling is not for a stranger, after all, I am a piece of meat fell from my mother, if you think like this, Clothes, shoes, necklaces, rings on my body, everything is given by my parents, including the brain I am using, what qualifications do you have to waste your time and energy on those useless trifles? Home is real. Mother hospitalization time, I almost cut off communication with the outside world, H and S are to come to see her, I told them not to, even tried by every possible means to don’t want them, did not know why, just want to secure in put and take care of the mother on it, H scold I won’t work, I’m cutting he scold, I but don’t want to meet my long separation these brother. At home these days, many students asked me out get together, some me to reply the, some I directly without reply, with guilt, I with some say the sorry. That state is under-performing, I don’t want them to see me that embarrassed state, like my beard since Tan Hospital out haven’t shaved, also just today just shaved, this kind of indifference and numbness to self-image is not what I want. What about what I want? Quiet. In fact, the most needed is quiet, noisy a summer to have gone through, What I need is growth, but growth and experience are not at the same time. Experience comes before and growth comes after. Growth takes time, and what I lack most now is time. If you loved ones around suddenly leave you, your expression is wept or calm? I am calm. In Tan Hospital, mother and I say my grandmother of disease had already reached an advanced stage, last home, grandma also can walk, this home, she has her death bed, later I learned that it was only a week before she passed away on the day I came home. You see people like this. Many things were later, but not now. This week, I often for grandma meal, talk to her, her hard, when, I sat on the bench looked at her, but see her painful expression, I really don’t know what to do, we people not strong, I slow down can’t her pain, before father often said, as long as the money, don’t expect children’s okay, now father also understand a truth, People young when great, old, and or to expect others, so, young when Don’t fantasy old how happy, in fact, old, as long as their children can often help we wash clothes, heart-to-heart talk with, care would suffice. Grandmother died a day after her painful roll in bed, lung abscess this terminal illness and are so, even so, Grandpa to to we call home, though, she did not agree. Don’t trouble children, they also busy, you know the meaning of the sentence? Her until death front awake all, grandma has seven daughters, she has no son, mother said she’s life, seven daughters already has two died. Old man life experienced too much, so, I would say, if you are older than me ten-year-old, I was not necessarily than you puerile, but you jobic I Junior Forty-year-old, I will certainly respect you. On the afternoon before grandma passed away, we stayed by her side all the time. At the time when we left home, she passed away. I believe people had a hunch, When I got home, I sat at the desk and stared at the computer in a daze. It seemed that I was just waiting for the bad news of grandma’s death. I didn’t know much. The bad news really came. I feel, in We left grandmother of that, she’s already left, followed us left, think of this, I not afraid, but feel very pleased. My mother said, most of the time the tears of relatives leaving were tears of regret. I think so, but I didn’t cry. My sister asked me, did I really not cry? I said in crematory way left one of your tear away. I made without disturbing mother said, I did grandson part of the bargain, grandmother died, I helped her clothes, a lot of people are scared of and that I got haven’t. When I was young, my grandmother still hugged me to sleep and gave me a fan. Now she is still lying there, lying there peacefully. She went to another world. She breathe before, own to that world, Not alone, and two daughters with her, I think also very pleased. Grandmother’s house have a dog, it does very intelligent, grandmother hospitalized time, it stayed front, never quitting grandmother died, it slept casket and others drive away, it will still sneak back, now the dog was our family adopted, over the other in a pet dog much better. When I left home, it sent me a lot, while the Meika which I often beat and scold was dull standing at the door motionlessly. In fact, I am wanted Meika to send me. The night before I came to Hefei, my mother sat beside me and said, “We are not around her. After I left, my family became deserted again, and she wanted to find something to do. At that moment, my tears were circling in my eyes. I felt that I was an incompetent son. She just lost her mother. At this time, I should be with her, comfort her. But I just wanted to leave her. I told A that I felt very uncomfortable, She told me to be more open. I replied: I what all can look very open, light, only family no. At this moment, my mother may have had dinner. She and her father stayed at home alone. Sometimes, I would tell myself secretly that when my parents get old, I will take them to live with me and accompany them until they leave. This idea, I keep reminding myself, I told myself, I am a not wild-card people, at this point, others said don’t do, I said, to do go down. Looking at my mother’s figure, I gradually left her. She smiled at me, and so did I. People say that separation is the main melody of life, so how about gathering together? Is it the last song after the main melody? That’s exactly the case. Every separation always accumulates the full joy of the next gathering. Yesterday in Lingbi, and X had some fastfood still have three hours of departure time, I only with X said I in Lingbi, She with me around the hui jie, I said I want to play a gambling machines, she just won’t let, I thought of L, telephoned him. I know that he really wants me to play with him, the days we spend together, eating, drinking and having fun, and different kinds of war friendship. He told me that L,Z and M were all there, so I went to M’s store to find her. I was also very happy to see that they had changed one by one, US to your hotel fired some of the dishes in store eating and drinking. L I was not there at that time. They asked me to stay here for one night in shuimuhua. I guess if I really stayed here, I would not be able to walk the next day. Afternoon, I still go, but in fact, I want to leave, I loathe to give up the small town, where every street My traveled footprints. Night, I in dormitory pack your luggage, went out to drink milk tea, I with them several called and they seven or eight people are eating, I think compared with my loneliness at this time, they must be more lonely than me. On the phone, They said they would propose a toast to me. I said I only had milk tea here. They drank and I drank milk tea. I can feel the bustle on their side. Now, I can see that I can only have a drink with that group of brothers in winter vacation. I don’t think I will call other brothers easily. Hang up the phone, I called W and asked where he was. He said he was in the billiard room, so I played with him. In the elevator, I looked in the mirror, and I was much older. But I don’t know when I began to become so haggard. What story will I encounter here? (I have never left home during this holiday, and my mood is not very good. 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