Tag: 2019上海龙凤419CR



[Editor’s note] I am is looking for it, but I dare not admit it myself! Looking? I don’t know either. Maybe it is a place suitable for life, a dream, a beauty hiding in the dark, but maybe it is just for walking far away, taking a look at the author’s mental journey is just the confusion that young people are facing now. Because of the postgraduate entrance examination, I took a plane to Guilin at on March 30. I have been working hard for several days. Today I have leisure to record my mood on the way. Although I am idle, but the heart is still hanging. The plane took two hours. During the two hours of flight, there was a vast night outside. Looking out from the window, I could only see the light on the wing flashing lonely. Except for the occasional turbulence of airflow, everything was so calm. Later, I didn’t know when it started. A bright moon followed me outside the window of the machine. It was parallel in my sight. I thought it was the first time that I was so close to the moon, I couldn’t help thinking of the verses of Li Bai and Su Shi. Li Bai once asked the moon about wine: When will the moon come in the sky? I stopped the cup and asked. It is impossible for people to climb the moon, but the moon goes with people. Today people don’t see the moon in ancient times, and this month once shines on the ancients. The ancients and modern people are running water, and they see the moon together; Su Shi once asked the sky with wine: When will the moon be? I asked Qingtian about the wine. I didn’t know the palace in the sky. I wanted to go back by the wind, but I was afraid that qionglou Yuyu would be cold in the high position. Dancing to figure out the shadow, how it seems to be in the world; And in Zhang Ruoxu’s famous “The Night of flowers in the Spring River”, he also asked: who first saw the moon on the riverside, and who took photos at the beginning of the river? Life has been endless from generation to generation, and Jiangyue looks similar every year. I am silent, my predecessors, when they looked at this vast sky, after they had countless fantasies for this holy moon, they said: Everyone is running water, and the moon is always similar, it is better to stay quietly in the world! But I still like fantasy, although my dream is so unrealistic, although I am finally just a dust submerged in history. I always hope that one day, I can sit on a spaceship and travel in the outer space to see the huge planet we once lived become smaller and smaller, turning into blue, look at how the flashing stars that once hung in the sky turned into huge dark gray planets, and how tiny human beings would be in that endless universe, it will be so small that it is nothing. I borrowed the convenience brought by modern technology, but I couldn’t feel the happiness brought by this convenience. I would rather watch the moon with wine like Li Bai and Su Shi, travel in reverie, and feel the true meaning of life in traveling. But now, I am close to the moon, but I have already lost my imagination. I will no longer imagine that there is a beautiful fairy of Chang ‘e imprisoned in Guanghan Palace on the moon, and I will no longer believe those beautiful myths. Modern technology has already eliminated people’s romantic feelings. People become empty and mechanical, so do I, so I can’t write affectionate words. When I was on the plane, I could only write such a poem: The plane went through the sea of clouds, the bright moon hung out of the window, and the two places were more than a thousand miles away, sending me back. This is a poem without artistic conception. Artistic conception has already been shaken off in the leap of science and technology and the takeoff and landing of planes. When the plane landed safely and walked out of Guilin airport, there was a hot and humid air blowing on my face, which was warmer than Chengdu. It was already late at night, taking buses around the streets of Guilin, I saw the workers who built buildings were still busy, and the cranes and bulldoers were still changing the appearance of our Earth, changing our living environment. Only then did I find out that the city was the same. No matter it was prosperous or down, there were migrant workers building those cold buildings, people picking up the wasteland, cars and numb crowds. After walking in some cities, I feel that nothing is really prosperous. What we call a prosperous city is nothing more than a higher building and a wider Street, but people’s spirit, it is generally empty and empty. Walking in such a city, you will feel a kind of inner desolation. However, Guilin was good, with mountains and waters, and soft fragrance of flowers, which made me suddenly fall in love with this small medium-sized city. When I arrived at the destination, it was already twilight, because there were so many people who took part in the second interview of postgraduate entrance examination in recent days, and the housing was very tight. In addition, I was a little tired, so I just found a hotel to live in, I wanted to find a cheaper hotel the next day. Unexpectedly, it rained the next day, so I had to look for accommodation one by one in the rain with an umbrella and a heavy bag. Almost all of them were full, so I finally found one. The house price was still so expensive, this is twice as expensive as usual. These landlords are really black! But I can’t help it. I’m tired of walking. I don’t want to leave any more, and I won’t stay for a few days. After taking a hot bath, I suddenly felt happy in my heart. Night dreamless. In the next few days, I reported the second interview of the physical examination. I didn’t like the hospital during the physical examination, which made me unhappy. Many people waited in line on an empty stomach until noon. When drawing blood, those doctors looked like blood-sucking bats one by one. The thick needle tubes couldn’t wait to be full. Moreover, the needling method was wrong and it was extremely painful, just after drawing blood, the boss’s knot became swollen, and the next day it turned into a piece of Qingqing. I don’t know whether the doctor is an angel to save the dying or a hell to kill for money in such a society alienated by money. This is a school with a good academic atmosphere, and the campus is full of sweet flowers. In Chengdu, the trees are still new buds, but here it is already lush. The second interview was not very good, but I met several nice beauties, and I am still impressed. The girl who studied minority language and literature from Hubei was lively, cheerful, beautiful and clever, which gave people a passion; While the girl in red in Liaoning, but not as warm as the color of her clothes, her beauty is that kind of plain and shy beauty, a little unconfident makes her heart look more kind; Girls in Anhui, there is always a smile of family affection on his face, and his words are very gentle, which makes people feel calm and happy in their hearts. I hope everything goes well in their second interview, otherwise the School of Arts lacking beauties will be too lonely. There is also a male classmate from Shandong who is also very nice and similar to my thoughts. He has the temperament of a young cynic and a poet. Although Guangxi was affected by drought during this period of time, God seemed to favor Guilin. It rained several times in those days when I was there, and the Lijiang River was still plump. It didn’t dry out due to drought, but only slightly thinner. The Mountain in Guilin is Xiaoshi mountain with green trees standing on it. The water in Guilin is green, rippling the neat town of Guilin. The buildings in Guilin are not high and will not block the sunshine, I can see very far. The trip to Guilin will be over soon. I hope I can come again in September. I took a train on the way back, which lasted for more than twenty hours, which made me feel scared. After taking the plane, I didn’t want to take the train any more, but I had no choice but to be a poor person, so I couldn’t fly around all the time. Moreover, the few money in my pocket had already been killed, it’s really a pity that you don’t have much money when you get it! Taking a train gives people a sense of frustration in boredom, which is the direction you cannot control. The long journey always gives people a sense of wandering. I remember what a friend of mine said: if there is no place for your heart to live, you will wander wherever you go. I also remember where I have seen such words: everyone has roots on his feet, and every step he moves, he will feel slight pain. But I couldn’t feel any slight pain, I am numb. My pain came from my heart and went deep into the bone marrow. I am looking for it, but I dare not admit it! Looking? I don’t know either. Maybe it is a place suitable for life, a dream, a beauty hiding in the dark, but maybe it is just for walking far away and having a look. Since the moment I left home, I knew that I couldn’t go back. Maybe I would return eventually, but I was used to wandering. I remember that Mr. Lu Xun had an article called “passers-by”, who had been walking since he was born, because there was a voice calling him all the time. Although he didn’t know where he was going, but he just couldn’t rest. At last, he came to a wilderness at dusk. There was a family, where lived a little girl and an old man who had suffered from wind and frost. The passer asked what was ahead, and the old man said: grave. At this time, he seemed to know what he was going to, but he finally got up and walked there. Yes, he went to death. In fact, that voice once called the old man, but he ignored it and chose to live in a quiet and plain life, while passers-by chose to be far away. The meaning of this search has also been expressed in “The Soul tied on the leather rope buckle” written by tashidawa. The protagonists in it have been walking all the time, walking through villages one by one, facing the temptation of the world, it did not stop. Later, it finally went to the holy place and to death. They are following the path of faith to find the ending of death. The distance is a temptation. So, what on earth is there in the distance? Haizi said: apart from the distant place, there is nothing/the farther place, more lonely/the happiness in the distant place, how much pain it is. “Far Away” The wind far away is farther than the wind far away. “September” there is wind behind the wind, sky above the sky, and road ahead. “The four sisters” was the distant place Haizi saw. He saw this endless repetition of pain, so he chose death. According to my own experience, there is nothing in the distance except some different scenery, but I still have to leave, is it strange? Li Yawei, a brave poet in the third generation of poetry movement, chose the distant place with fearless attitude when he was young. He went to the distant place just to see what happened to him, but when he returned to Chengdu after wandering for many years, he sighed: Tell me, the migrant worker brothers who built buildings in Sichuan, on which road does their life drift? Maybe in a few years, I will settle down, get married and have children, and live a stable life. In fact, my ideal life is to write about things, travel around, live and walk at any time, but it needs money, and if you want to make money, you have to suffer a lot in the metropolis, I am doomed to live in a wandering place, and I am a person who rejects city life, which is very contradictory, isn’t it? I long for the wind of freedom, the vast world and the wilderness where my soul gallop. Then why did I choose the distant place? Seeking for the root, maybe I read Kundera’s book “Life Elsewhere! This is a poetic book title, I am a poetic person, and there is only one person’s life. I want to live elsewhere. Baudelaire has an essay called “anywhere outside the world”, in which he wrote: I always think it is better for me to go where I am not, I have been discussing with my heart about this problem that I always want to change places. So he asked his heart, what about Lisboa? Netherlands? Batavia? As a result, his heart didn’t say a word, and he doubted whether his heart was dead. So the poet added: have you been numb to such an extent that you just want to stay in your own pain? If this is the case, then we will flee to the place similar to death. Finally, his heart burst out, and it cried calmly: it can be anywhere, as long as it is not in this world. It turns out that the hearts of literati are all similar. It turns out that poets all want to go far away, except fake literati. I am already on my way, and when I am on my way, I will not look back. Even if there are thorns in front of me, then I will find that beautiful flower in the boundless thorns, even if it is a bloody flower dyed by blood, it will also give me great joy. Some people say that our generation is the Beat Generation, and I don’t agree with it. Everyone must know the Beat Generation of America in the 1990 s! They have been seeking for the satisfaction in the spiritual field all the time, although their behaviors on the road are wild and decadent, drinking wildly. They traveled all over America in the physical stimulation, but explored the pleasure of metaphysical spirit, which was the most precious. However, most of our generation, except for drinking crazily and drinking excessively, are decadent and depressed, their spirits are extremely empty. So I said, we don’t have the temperament to beat. The collapse of the American beat faction is the real collapse. However, many of us are just corrupted and lost. Kerouac’s “on the road” wrote the voice of that generation of Americans, and also expressed what I thought in my heart, but I was more restrained. I think we need dreams, and our society also needs literature, so I insist on my choice. Someone says: love is like the wind, you can’t see it, but you can touch it. I said: The ideal is like a moon, which can be seen but hard to reach. We need love as well as the moon. The train finally arrived. Chengdu is always a gloomy and gray day, which makes people feel depressed. The weather in the morning and evening is still very cold, which makes people shiver! There are also cloudy days and rainy days in Guilin, but everything is clear after a rainy day, and the city is fresh and tidy because of this. Interestingly, on the day I went to Guilin, it was raining in Guilin when I walked out of the airport, and before I left Guilin to enter the train, it began to rain, which was the kind of silk rain without umbrellas. A little bit, drop by drop, fell into my memory, memory, I hope it will reappear in September. [Editor in charge: Dielianhua]] Like (prose editor: prose online) the 30th year of my WeChat era The year before last, my eunuch planned to buy a smartphone for him on his birthday. 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