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[Introduction] when I opened my memory, I wrote a lot of diaries in the past two months. All the joys and sorrows were complete. Life was like this, full of helplessness to reality and unable to say who was right and who was wrong. Over the past two months, I have thought a lot, although my life is very simple……

The rain went down from last night to tonight. Although it was just rain, the long time added some melancholy. I stayed in the dormitory for a whole day, because of boredom, I occasionally surf the Internet, and didn’t feel tired. I am too lazy to think about problems during the day, and I don’t like to go around. Sometimes people are so lazy that they don’t want to move even if they are too lazy. Waiting to eat is sleeping, just like the life of a pig, even the brain does not want to move. It was 6:20 when I opened my eyes this morning. Looking out from the window of the bathroom, the rain kept floating, much colder than before, and winter was coming. I felt a little uneasy and had an ominous premonition. I spent the whole morning in cold weather, and changed into autumn clothes in the afternoon, which made me feel a little warm. I couldn’t calm down, and even felt uneasy. Impetuous and disturbance made me unable to calm down for a long time. Although it seemed as if nothing had happened, there was no denying that my heart was uneasy. The depression of the environment brings pain to me who has been pursuing freedom and leisure. Till now, I don’t value fame and wealth, diploma and so on, and pursue harmony and looseness I am environment. The environment is undoubtedly important if you can learn from a job you like. The depressing environment makes people feel deeply uneasy, while the hypocritical formalism makes people feel that there is an opportunity to be confused. Time woon like dream, 08 of sui mu gradually fall, 09 is about to ring the bell. Farewell to the old year and welcome the new year. 08 a colorful year has left us too much sadness and touch, which has become a memory and deeply impressed our mind. 09 a New Year is strange, waiting for us to explore and create; It is also a new year for us to challenge. When 08 of the curtain closes, let us remember the years moved and glory, Forget sad and lost. Don’t expect too much to meet the challenge of 09 with a good mood. Sometimes things often go against your wishes. Simple things are very complicated to do, and very complicated things are actually very simple. If you expect too much about a thing, it will naturally become complicated over time, and it will become more complicated to handle it. If one thing is made plain as one wishes, it will be easier to do it; If the expectation is too deep, the disappointment will be too deep. I opened my memory and wrote a lot of diaries in the past two months. All the joys and sorrows were complete. Life was like this, full of helplessness to reality and unable to say who was right and who was wrong. Over the past two months, I have thought a lot. Although my life is very simple, my thoughts are much more complicated than those of ordinary people. Such thoughts come from books, which open my mind. Although I seldom read books nowadays, or just take a short look at them, the books in high school are deeply printed in my memory. I often think that it would be better if I were simple-minded like most people. You don’t have to think so much, just learn a craft, find a job, and live a happy and happy life. How comfortable it is. But I can’t do it. Most of the reasons are influenced by books. I didn’t read good books in high school, but I read a lot of things, which have influenced me so far and become an idealist. Thinking over the past two months, in fact, many things might have come true originally, but they didn’t stick to the end and turned into bubbles. For me, I am eager for a life full of challenges. If I lose the challenging life, I will lose my passion. Sometimes it doesn’t depend on whether you can get it or not, But whether it can be conquered. In an environment where desire for power is rampant, learning to remain indifferent to fame and wealth is the most important thing, rather than intriguing. Don’t let power break through the brain. Facing the official career, I have never been interested in it. What I yearn for is to pick chrysanthemum under the eastern fence and see the natural scenery of Nanshan in a quiet way. Therefore, I decided to say goodbye to this life with complex thoughts and dry mood, and gently closed the door of memory. Let the soul swim in the free world. Return to the isolated life two months ago, and return to the most real life. Let all selfish thoughts sleep forever. (Written at midnight on December 31, 2008)

[Responsible editor: yi er]]

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