When time passed quietly between fingers, we also began to change, becoming so strange and too far away from the original self, as if we could not turn back. After all, there was nothing but the footprints of tears mixed with many fragmented memories.
Outside the window, the rain keeps falling. I like it very much. Because, it always brings the sad smell inexplicably, dyeing every trace of soul. However, it is not very good to keep doing like this.
At the moment I raised my head, the most dazzling one was always the bright red card for counting the time. Since it appeared in that corner, our bad luck also came. 100 days, 80 days …… when I was reluctant to see it again, my heart… was also cold.
Before the third year of senior high school, we could smile brightly. We would not think it was true and say, “Well, the third year of senior high school is still far away… 100 days ago, we would smile reluctantly: it is still early for the third year of senior high school. But now, we have no courage to laugh when the number that we have always thought is very far away is only 35 days left in the waste of time. The college entrance examination which made us panic was just around the corner, and the tall wall it built was just around the corner. Can we walk past? At least, I am timid.
I tried hard to pull the memory back to the past, but those incomplete memories were only black and white long ago. I only vaguely remember that for more than ten spring and autumn years, we have already buried the happiness of innocence and innocence of youth in the long river of time, we should have sat on my father’s head and left a charming one happily. We could have snuggled up in my mother’s warm arms and listened to children’s songs to sleep, but we didn’t… we were just in a sleepy morning, accompanied by the twinkling Cold Dew, we came to the school with colorful halo to start our day’s boring and fearless study. Then, looking for the way home against the faint stars. In this way, Spring goes to autumn. In this way, I don’t know how we came along with the wind, rain and rain, sometimes mixed with snowflakes all over the sky. It seems that we did come along. But now, when everything is coming to an end, we are scared, tired and tired. The teacher still explains those complicated circuit diagrams tirelessly, difficult chemical formula, boring mathematical geometry. One blackboard, another blackboard, the chalk ash fell all over the floor, accompanied by the teacher’s vague and disordered steps, it seemed so desolate. Every student is doing the mechanical action of burying his head and lowering his head alternately. However, what flickers in their eyes is their desire for knowledge. And I, as early as the moment when the bell rang, pulled my thoughts out of this place which seemed to be longing for but did not belong to us, leaving only a pair of dull eyes. Then, thinking,… just wait until the next bell rings again.
Every day, there are endless test papers, as if the hands are really like snowflakes all over the sky, and the numbers are countless. It seems that we have already been used to it. Every time we see the inexplicable smile of the teacher who sent the test paper, we can only lament that whether the smile is a little sympathy or a lot of other smells? When the papers full of red flowers came into view, they were like thorns piercing into the eyes, causing pain. I can only press them in the deepest part of the drawer as I am used to, just like sealing a trace of painful memory in the deep part of my heart. I dare not touch or mention them. The intricate problems were tangled and confused, with the smell of cutting and messy. We had no choice but to let them settle down and raise our hands reluctantly to surrender.
This is too much helplessness, which makes us too tired and tired. We have paid for the dream of college, really. But I don’t know which corner the reward slips to and whether it belongs to us.
Start to subvert this painful tiredness with a decadent lifestyle. Smoking, drinking, skipping classes, surfing the internet …… it seems that these things we should not have done are vividly done by us. When I was drunk, I shed bitter tears. What did I feel? I know. Everything you do is wrong. But sometimes, even if you are wrong, you have to keep going wrong. Because, when trying to come back to reality, the heart will still feel painful and painful. We can only use the effect of alcohol, the smell of tobacco to paralyze ourselves, and the unruly way of skipping classes and surfing the Internet for a moment of peace of mind. In this way, I kept sinking, sinking, sinking and couldn’t turn back, so I simply escaped from all kinds of things in this way …… then, one day, I suddenly found that life had become so desolate.
Night, very deep. The rain is still falling, and it has already wet the sadness of the ground. When I opened the window, a few drizzle drifted in, hitting my face and heart… Light a cigarette and it gets wet. I know that it is not rain, but something called tears. Then I found that the narrow space which belonged to me also drowned the sadness of the night.
I know that the world has long forgotten us…
Those trembling days,
When we meet again,
It is not the same as you and me,
When flying up again,
It is not the last time……
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