Month: May 2017

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七月

【编者按】:即使是炎热的夏季依然抵挡不了悲伤的脚步,也驱散不了偶尔的孤单。为了自己的痴傻,为了自己不懂得照顾自己,为了自己的任性,其实都是为了更多的关爱。就像我们从不曾遗忘友人一样,但也会冷落他们。每个人都有自己的生活在忙,在自己的世界忙碌着,并觉得累,偶尔想起的温暖也只是来时遥远的问候。这或许就是生活,以自己的世界为生活,不管是忧伤的寂寞的,依然继续着。 『写在前面』 七月,来的有些匆忙,似乎还没有做好迎接的准备,就已经悄然而至。 七月,火热的季节,大地被蒸烤的失去了本来的样子,所以它已经面目全非。 七月,又是一个新的开始,而冬天,已经在不远处开始等待。 「七月三日。星期五。」 知道自己的情绪就是这样,六月末的时候说,到七月来临的时候,闲下来的话就安静的写东西,或者记录一些琐碎的事情,可是当七月初真的到来的时候,却找着各种理由来搪塞,不想写字,不想看书,上网也不想,思想里不知道自己在追求着什么,只是觉得有些空洞,或者有些空白。 近几天以来,觉得生活过的挺简单,挺安静的,只是有些时候会和朋友之间发生一些不愉快,但是过后我又不会计较什么,所以我觉得应该珍惜现在的友谊,因为我不知道两个人之间的情谊能持续多久,尽管我一直希望很远很远。突然之间喜欢被人宠的感觉,哪怕是一个电话,一条短信,或者一句问候关心的话,只是觉得心里很温暖。或许是孤单太久的原因。其实我并不喜欢和朋友之间偶尔闹点小别扭,但是我发现被人哄的感觉很不错,所以会趁对方不注意的情况下自私一回或者任性一回,觉得女人撒娇始终可以得到男人的原谅。无论那个男人是谁。 最近工作上没有什么大的压力,只是安静的上班,做好本职的工作就行,比较喜欢现在的样子,很轻松,很舒服,不晓得这样的日子能维持多久,不过现在就应该好好享受这样的生活,而不是自找麻烦。今天天气依旧有些躁热,尽管开起了空调还是让我有些心神不宁的感觉,好吧,学会安静一些不是更好? 「七月五日。星期日。」 今天是周末,应该是值班一天,因为昨天休息了一天,所以今天要上班一天,不过应该不是很累,只是时间长了一些而已。昨天晚上看书,看到一首诗歌觉得很有意境,突然发现自己已经很久都没有写过东西了,抬头看了下闹钟,已经是11点40几分,拿起笔的手又放下了。刚准备关机的时候花突然发信息过来,说下午那会电话打不通,结果上了一天的班很累回到宿舍直接睡觉了,本想着让他早点睡觉,但似乎他有些话想要说,于是告诉他如果有话要聊的话就上网吧,他同意之后我开始上QQ。其实那个时候我已经有些瞌睡了,但总不喜欢他吞吞吐吐的样子。不过最后还是一句话都没有说,即使我发了很多的消息给他,他解释说在接电话,于是我关机,睡觉。 这几天都没有阿东还有子青的消息,即使我知道他们应该过的不错,只是彼此之间少了一份联系,因为大家总是有自己要忙的事情。刚才上网的时候叶子说,今天他就放假了,然后一个人去丽江玩,到8月17号的时候在回来,问了他回家准备做什么,他说写童话,突然很羡慕他的生活,至少在夏天繁忙的工作中还能休息一个多月,做自己想做的事情。叶子问我,回家之后联系少了会不会忘记他?我突然笑了,觉得这句话好熟悉,因为以前总是我喜欢问别人,没想到今天会被他问。虽然只是一个无心的问题,但却突然让我的心触动了一下。我说不会,因为我不喜欢遗忘和遗忘任何人。尤其是我的朋友,他笑了一下,随即我们道声再见。 心里终究有些失落,因为总是不喜欢没有朋友的音讯。昨天晚上睡觉很早,应该12点多的时候,但是躺在床上迟迟没有入睡,或许是因为房间闷热的原因,总是让我有一种躁动不安的感觉,脑袋有些模糊,幻想着以后的生活,尽管思想里的那些画面很美好,但明知道都只是幻想。有时候会很想一些人,莫名其妙的想,只觉得心里温暖,因为牵挂与被牵挂都是一种幸福。 「七月六日。星期一。」 我知道自己心情不好,尤其是从昨天开始到现在,心里想着没什么过不去的,所以一切都会好起来,可是为什么自己还高兴不起来。昨天上了一天班,有些累,因为对电脑的时候太长,早晨的时候看见一个朋友在线,问了关于最近的过的怎么样,还有今天是上班还是休息?结果等了一阵子他只发来了两个字,考试,突然心底有种失落的感觉,虽然我们每天上网都见彼此在线,但却从不主动说一句话,偶尔我实在无聊的时候会拉扯几句。只因为他是我最铁的知己。沉默了一阵子,觉得似乎没什么话可说,于是关掉了对话框,想起来这几天似乎他都没有回过几条短信,我想应该是很忙的原因,因为他要考试,因为他搬了家。 前几天工作上有些失误,总是让我有些疲惫,我知道是自己的粗心所造成,所以只能生自己的闷气。最近一直做梦,而且都是噩梦,记得几天前石头打电话过来问我好些没,刚好那个时候我刚睡醒,应该说是被吓醒,满头的大汗,于是和他讲起最近的事情,似乎总是有太多的不开心,而具体的原因却说不上来。他安慰几句,只觉得有朋友的关心很不错,挂掉了电话,心情好了很多。 这几天西安的天气有些燥热,持续了一个星期的38度,无论是呆在上班的地方还是家里,都没有心情好好的工作或生活。晚上房子有些闷热,躺在床上半天的睡不着,旁边的书又无心看下去,带上了耳机听喜欢的歌曲,早上醒来的时候感觉耳朵有些微疼,原来枕头边的MP4开了一夜。失声笑了出来,觉得自己有些傻,总是不懂得照顾好自己。 一时之间觉得寂寞,一时之间觉得自己始终都是一无所有,任我怎么努力还是惘然,似乎有些可怜,似乎有些可悲。有时候我在想,像我这样的女子以后该是有着什么样子的生活。以后的生活,而今我已不小,二十二岁的大人了,可每天还是生活在父母身边,有些人会羡慕,觉得在父母身边多好,而有些人会耻笑,这么大的人应该出去闯一闯。我不喜欢别人说我,所以面对别人的指指点点,我总是不理会, 今天比较舒服,因为早上睡了懒觉,记得上个礼拜的时候每天都是7点多起床,8点多上班,所以早上的时候总不能多睡一会,而这个星期就可以好好的休息几天,因为和同事商量着说这个礼拜可以晚点上班。于是心情好了一些,不过也只是好了一些而已。 「七月七日。星期二。」 西安的燥热天气让我有种快要窒息的感觉,上班的时候会开几个小时的空调,而更多的时间就是电风扇在桌子上无力的转着,昨天似乎过的不错,因为早上睡了懒觉,而中午上班的时候又不忙,所以比较悠闲,只是心情有些压抑或者郁闷,思想里想着许多莫名其妙的事情。7点多的时候开始下班,收拾回家,妈做了煎饼还有稀饭放在桌子上,于是第一件事情就是打开电视,风扇,然后端起碗筷狼吞虎咽的吃起来。总是不喜欢等着家人一起吃饭,所以一个人先来。 尽管一直是晚上,可是空气中一丝风都没有,12点钟的时候和一个朋友聊完之后开始关机,听歌,看了一下闹钟,1点整。躺在床上翻来覆去的失眠,眼睛闭着,偶尔开始做梦,但突然之间又被什么咯了一下,惊醒之后才发现原来耳朵的耳机又没有摘,看了一下时间,两点整。关了MP4,准备安静的睡觉,梦中似乎总是感觉不舒服,又醒来,喝水,看了一下闹钟,时间定格在三点整,思绪突然有些清醒,想想已经三点多钟了还没有入睡。端起杯子里的水一饮而进。最后一次醒来是早晨的六点整,本不想这么早起床,但房间里依旧有些闷热,尤其是太阳照进来的光有些刺眼,于是开始收拾,准备上班。 心里想着写一些字,诗歌或者散文,最后决定还是写诗歌,拿起笔,但写了几句又否定了,只是觉得自己是一个虚伪的人,因为内心本不想写字,尤其是诗,怕自己写的不好,但又突然看到别人写了不少,所以想着如果努力一些的话可以写的更好,但不料没有了那份心境,于是写到一半的诗被撕的乱七八糟,然后仍在不远的垃圾桶里。最后终于明白了一些,如果不喜欢的就不要勉强。而写字也毅然如此。 「七月九日。星期四。」 最近心情不好,尤其是这两天,突然莫名的忧伤袭击迩来,只是感觉到一阵的孤单,一阵的失落,还有一阵的迷茫和不知所措,不清楚怎么会有这样的情绪,只是觉得有些空虚,有些疲惫,有些压抑。本想着写一些文字来缓解一些,但却发现自己竟然无话可说,无字可写,于是剩下的只是自己一个人独自的哀伤。 七月的太阳有些辛辣,让我有种快要窒息的感觉,总是不喜欢这样的天气,觉得冰冷的世界才是我可以停留的地方。昨天下了一天的小雨,断断续续的样子,觉得这样的天气才是我所喜欢的那种,可是也只是持续了一天而已,而今天的太阳依旧让我有种厌恶的感觉。即使躲在房间里,它的味道也刺激着我的神经。 这几天因为心情不好的缘故,所以少了和几个朋友的联系,总觉得没有一个人可以陪着我很久很久,所以有些时候学会孤独,学会适应岂不是很好。好一阵子没有和大姐打电话了,昨天闲下来的时候和大姐聊了一会,她说她辞职了在家,安心的学习和考试,然后做好一个妻子应有的责任,收拾屋子和照顾老公,我说姐现在是一个幸福的女人,有那么疼爱她的老公,还有一些目标和理想要去追求,这样的生活真好。姐淡然的笑了一下,鼓励我说应该也有自己的目标去实现,比如我的文字,比如我现实的生活。我听完之后否认了一些,只是觉得有些事情并不是我一个人努力就可以做到的。 刚才和石头聊天,他知道我心情不好所以想着开导我,但是他不知道我就是这样的一个人,所以任他怎么努力我还是一句也听不进去,于是他似乎有些生气,但是我并不想解释太多的原因,所以只好看着他的图象暗了下去。昨天晚上收到花的消息,他说手机停机了所以打不了电话也发不了信息,我回他没事,让他早点休息,然后关了手机开始睡觉。 「七月十日。星期五。」 刚才没事了,在群里喊玻璃教我弄下空间里的背景音乐,结果她居然说我笨,有些郁闷,按道理来说我是非常聪明的,但是怎么到她那里就是笨了呢?原因我终于知道,因为她比较聪明,所以和我比起来就显得我比较笨,算了,不和她纠缠了,反正最重要的是让她教会我怎么添加音乐,似乎我不得不承认我的确够笨的,因为在她一再的引导下我还是没能添加成功,总是遇到很多麻烦,心里想着玻璃也不是外人,把QQ密码给她让她帮我做做,那不是省了很多事情,但是没想到她那么小气,那么懒,居然理都不理,而且最后还找各种借口说是要请假啊,休息啊,上班啊,睡觉啊等等离开我的视线,我有些不满,说是还没教会我怎么就要走,是不是不够朋友,她随即把我推给了妃子,说是妃子也会,如果我要做的话去找妃子吧。我同意了,因为妃子也是一个比较好的丫头。 玻璃下线了,我去Q了妃子,问她忙不忙,她说不忙,我说让她上我的号帮我弄,结果她说电脑卡,可以一步一步的教我,当然其中我也遇到了很多麻烦,不过最后还是一一解决了,处理完空间的事情之后我发了一个大笑的表情说,原来我还是挺聪明的,结果妃子发了一个呕吐的表情说,如果我聪明的话还用她来教,我一时无语,然后彼此便哈哈大笑起来,道了再见,她开始下班。 突然想起了叶子,空间的歌曲都是叶子以前帮我做的,叶子是我以前社团的编辑,关系还算可以,记得有一次我说要加空间的播放器,但是总是不会,于是我发了远程过去,结果他说我的电脑太卡,他可以帮我在他的电脑上做,我把QQ的密码给他,不到一个小时的时间他就帮我加了一件播放器还有几首音乐,只是那几首歌并不是我所喜欢的类型,但是他却异常的喜欢,而这段时间他放假回家了,联系也少了许多,不过偶尔还是会想起他来,还有曾经聊天时的滑稽。 今天写了一首歌,不过感觉还是有些不美,因为总是觉得自己对于诗歌还是一个虚伪的人,不过或许因为太久没有写东西的缘故,诗歌里面还是掩盖不住的忧伤。最近有些不开心,所以字里行间也透出莫名的情愫。 「七月十一日。星期六。」 最近一直关机很早,不到12点钟手机就被放进了抽屉里,少了和朋友发信息的时间,更多的是带上耳机在黑夜里听那些忧伤的歌曲。似乎习惯了这一种生活方式,虽然单调无味,但却是自己所喜欢的那种。晚上无聊的时候会想一些事情,尤其是小说里的情节,最近很想写一些小说,但是却没有具体的情节策划出来,于是闷在脑海中的头绪很压抑,如果在这样下去的或许会疯掉。都说做事开头难,突然觉得写东西也是一样,早上来的时候工作不是很忙,打开空白的文档准备写点东西,但却发现开头的故事总是很难叙说,于是一点一滴的想着昨天晚上的思绪,开始了故事的发展。 3个小时之后小说便成功了,当然理所当然的依旧是关于爱情那类,似乎总是忧伤或者分离。其实我并不喜欢这样的故事,但现实里的爱情总是这样,即使我多么努力的刻画着故事里美好的情节。最近换了QQ的签名,我不开心所以我不说话,有人问我为什么不开心,而我却说不出来的所以然,于是我说请不要打搅我,让我安静的思考一些事情,QQ依旧处于隐身的状态,习惯了这样的方式,偶尔会去群里聊上几句,只为打发无聊的上班时间。 看似波澜不惊的生活很舒服,其实却蕴藏了太多的不满,只是有些时候沉在心里或许会好一些,因为不喜欢总是被别人看的清楚,今天天气有些闷热,即使开着空调我依旧可以感觉到外面的热气,好吧,也就是今天上班一天而已,而其余的时间可以好好的休息一下。现在已经是下午的5点多钟了,想想自己从早上8点半上班就开着电脑到现在,已经有8个多小时了,晚上回家的时候一定要好好的睡觉了。而再有两个小时就可以下班回家了。期待时间早点过去吧。 「七月十三日。星期一。」 昨天晚上忽然胃疼,似乎很久都没有疼过了,我知道一直以来我都有胃疼的毛病,可是只有当我不吃饭或者很生气的时候才会发作,可是昨天晚上怎么突然疼了起来,躺在床上翻来覆去的睡不着,手机关了又被无聊的开机,我知道这个晚上终于要失眠了。 突然感觉很孤单,夜晚的时候总是一个人,于是想起了几个经常联系的朋友和不怎么联系的朋友,我知道12点的时候大家都已经睡着了,没有人会陪我聊天,可是庆幸的是有一个女子还有一个男子陪了我很久。我和那个女子说了很多的话,该怎么说她呢,其实我很喜欢和她说话的感觉,总觉得她要比我成熟的多,懂事的多,还记得上次因为一些感情上的事情我无法决定,然后试探性的问她我该怎么办?于是她和我说了很多很多的话,那一刻我就觉得她是一个理智的人,不像我总是拖拉的没有头脑。所以在我不开心的时候我总是想和她说会话,或者说希望她能给我一些开导,不让我迷茫下去。结果可想而知,夜晚她依旧和我聊着关于我自身无关紧要的话题,快凌晨1点的时候,和她道了晚安,然后看着她下线。 陪我说话的那个男子是我的朋友,应该是很久都没有联系过的文友,只是记得彼此认识有两年之久,但最近一段时间却很少聊天,于是突然想起他来,发了信息问有没有睡着,如果没有的话可不可以陪我说话,当然,一直以来我说自己认识的朋友都是对自己非常的好人,无论是女子还是男子,我们聊了一些生活中的事情,没有具体深入的话题,只是为了缓解寂寞的夜晚随意的说话,似乎时间过的很快,两个小时过去了,看了看时间已经不早了,我想着他也应该睡觉了,说了一些感谢他的话,于是我关了手机,安然的入睡。 事实上关机以后我并没有很快睡着,我在想一些事情,还有刚才和那个女子聊天的话题,只是记得有一句她说,人是欲望太多,追求太多,想的太多,所以才会痛苦,失落,以及彷徨,一念之间感觉她说的话很有道理。像我这样经常失眠得人就是因为欲望太多,所以总是失落,因为想要的太多,追求的太多,而最后依旧是一无所有,一切都是空白,所以开始痛苦,迷茫,还有彷徨,我说着对于很多事情我已经淡然,已经从容,可是只有我知道自己说话的时候是多么的虚伪,而事实我并没有做到从容还有淡然,那么,我还有什么资格要求自己过的幸福,过的开心还有快乐。 「七月十四日。星期二。」 今天早上上班的时候迟到了,一觉睡到8点半才醒来,要不是妈妈敲我的房门问我还上班么?我肯定还在做梦。于是睁开疲倦的眼睛看了看闹钟,天那,真的迟到了,匆忙的穿了衣服,牙都没刷的拿了手机和钥匙离开了家。昨天晚上睡的比较晚,因为在想一些事情,总体的来说是想一些朋友的事情。 刚才去外面买了饭,很久都没有吃隔壁阿姨家的凉拌面,所以在出去的时候顺便捎上一份带回了上班的地方。或许因为总是吃饭不按时的缘故,只是吃了几口就没有了胃口。想起早上来上班的时候,又是一边工作一边写东西。本来打算这几天是写小说的,可是没有很多的情节和思绪,于是就搁浅了下来。但是突然想起了一个人,具体的来说是一个非常好的朋友,所以顺着记忆就写了一篇关于他的稿子。 11点50的时候终于写完,修改了一系列之后储藏在了博客里,这个时候QQ依旧是处于隐身的状态,因为写东西的时候总是不喜欢和别人说话,怕自己分心。 早上醒来的时候有些不开心,看妈妈的样子似乎和爸爸吵架了,还记得昨天晚上我打电话的时候就听见他们房间里传来很大声的说话,一般情况下我是不于理睬的,因为我始终不是一个会劝架的孩子。妈一边扫地一边嘟囔着,好象在骂着爸爸,而这时看见我走了出来,就拿了一堆的钱让我看,辨别一下真伪,还给别人的时候就说已经被人验过了。当时因为时间紧张的缘故,所以只看了几张五十了一百的就走了,一边走着一边说: 我上班都迟到了,没时间看了 。说完之后已经不见我的踪影,只是远远的听见妈说: 都不是好东西,迟到的话怎么不早起来一些 。 现在的心情有些乱,刚才没事的时候看了一些韩国的电视剧,总是喜欢里面的情节,可是因为在上班所以又不能太深入,于是关了电影还是安静的工作,没事的时候看看新闻也不错。只是希望一切都会好起来,都能够快乐,包括所有人。 「七月十五日。星期三。」 昨天晚上很晚才睡着,本想着和一朋友发发短信聊天,但是被突如其来的一句冷句顿时弄的没了兴趣,于是道了晚安,便一个人发起呆来。看了看床边的书,已经没了兴趣,心里想着既然睡不着还是写点诗歌看看吧,当时的时间已经是11点多。拿起了笔和纸,当写下题目的时候又停止了,因为自己知道每写一首诗歌都要死好多脑细胞而且最少也需要两个或者三个多小时以上,所以又打消了那个念头,无聊的用手机上了QQ。看见两三个熟悉的身影依旧在线。 昨天中午的时候,子青突然问我电脑有没有联网,我说没有,然后我们就没有在说话,刚才截了一张QQ的聊天记录,发现已经和他有十几天没有说过话,即使说了一句也是无关紧要的。我知道他前一段时间搬了家,然后和很多朋友生活在一起,工作暂时也稳定了下来,应该算是比较安心。而最近又有了新的东西,所以既然他生活的可以,那么我就很开心。虽然我们已经有半个多月没有说话,但是我已经把他当我的好朋友。 昨天晚上上飞信的时候,想起中午阿东给我的信息,于是叫了他陪我聊天,但也只是说了几句话,我问他在干什么,他说在玩电脑,其实如果我说叫他陪我聊天的话他一定答应,只是突然我说要去看书,然后说了晚安,他有些迷茫的样子,但我却没有解释的更多。 我知道最近一直和朋友联系很少,或许是因为情绪上的缘故吧。上一个星期几乎没有和任何人说过话,而且QQ也是隐身的状态。虽然这几天缓解了不少,但是依旧感觉到空虚还有孤单,所以有些时候宁愿一个人,好吧,不要想的太多,让自己安静一些。 「七月十六日。星期四。」 刚才写了一篇文字,又是忧伤的类型,但是那种叙事的笔法一直是我所喜爱的。 其实最近我本没有写字的冲动,无论是小说还是散文,包括每天的心情日记,但似乎不受控制的样子,闲下来的时候总是想打开一个空白的文档,然后把所想所思的一切写进去。 昨天中午帮石头弄了QQ空间,尽管今天他有些高兴的样子,说了一些感激的话,但我终究还是觉得自己做的没有以前的那么好看,记得去年的时候没事的话整天琢磨空间该怎么做,到处找了一些免费的素材和皮肤来用,而昨天花了又是三个小时的时间却只找到几款不怎么样的皮肤和素材,算了吧,等以后我学的熟练的话在重新来做。 昨天晚上做了一个噩梦,醒来的时候是半夜的五点多,满头的冷汗,不知道这一段时间怎么了,总是做一些奇怪的噩梦,吓的自己半夜总是睡不着,想着和朋友说一下刚才的梦,可是似乎没有一个合适的人,于是拿起来的手机又放了下去。 现在耳朵有些微疼,我知道是这一个礼拜连续以来晚上睡觉听歌带耳机的缘故,不知道怎么了这个礼拜晚上听歌总不喜欢听外音,总觉得很吵杂,于是每天晚上睡觉的时候总是习惯性的带上耳机,结果不是一夜就是半夜,早上醒来的时候MP4里只剩下空空的虚电,而耳朵却疼的厉害。 「七月十七日。星期五。」 我更加确定自己心情总是不好,尤其是昨天四五点以后,那个时候和一个朋友聊天,似乎又涉及到一些不开心的事情,于是招呼也没打一声就下了QQ,只是觉得如果在说下去的话我或许会真的会生气,所以干脆沉默不语来的好一些。下了QQ之后开始随意的看着东西,只是不知道头怎么突然剧烈的疼痛起来,越加的难受,我想或许是因为脑细胞运做稍快的原因。 回到家后,第一件事情就是脱掉鞋子,换了宽大的睡衣坐在客厅里看着娱乐性的电视,每天回家都是这样的生活。到七点半的时候,古装电视剧正式开始,一个同学打电话过来,叫我出去玩,但是当时我真的没有任何精力出去走动,于是拒绝。挂了手机,安静的坐着。 晚上没事做,本想着发一些信息给朋友,但似乎没有了说话的冲动,用手机上Q的时候,发现有很多消息,打开看来都是下午那会发来的,但是我并没有在线。只是给一个人回了一条,解释了下午并没有上Q的原因。这时花发来消息问我在干嘛,随即我说如果你有话要说的话我可以听,如果你没有话要对我说的话那我就下了。他说我又是这个样子。我苦笑了一下,也不知道该用什么样的勇气和他说话。 花是我的一个朋友,具体的来说是对我非常好的一个男子。在很早以前,我本想着要写一篇文字来送给他,但是似乎总是觉得文字有些苍白无力,所以一直也就搁浅。昨天晚上聊天的时候,我本不想说关于自己最近的情况,可是他突然说了一句话: 娜娜,你总是不喜欢把自己的事情告诉我 。于是我便和他说了最近的情况。比如下午工作时的不愉快,在比如突然觉得很孤单,甚至空虚,以及觉得活着只是很累,只是很疲惫。我不知道自己怎么了,说着说着就哭了起来。或许是因为心里压了太多的事情吧。只见他发了一个难过的表情,随即我便失去了继续倾诉下去的冲动,因为我本没有想要倾诉的欲望。 剩下的十几分钟里,花说了几句安慰的话,但是在我听来似乎没有任何的份量,因为对于他而言总是不知道该怎么和我说话。他指责了自己,说是对我不够关心,对我不够好。我开始反驳,说他是网络上对我很好的一个男生,可以任我使性,唠叨,以及说各种无法理解的很多小气的话。我感谢他对我以前的好,虽然现在彼此不怎么经常聊天,但是我知道他一直把我当做最好的朋友。 刚才早上上网来的时候,去了博客发了一些前几天写的小说,QQ处于静音的状态,看见几个朋友在线,但是没有说话的冲动,只是觉得有些烦闷,于是下了QQ,胡乱的玩着。这一段时间上班时间变了一些,几乎一个星期都要每天超过九个小时对着电脑,想想就有些恐惧,算了吧,就这样吧。 「七月十八日。星期六。」 今天西安的天气很热,记得昨天看电视说西安会下雨,可是现在看看,似乎没那可能。这几天说是早上9点多上班,所以我想着可以多睡会,可是谁知道7点多的时候就睡不着了,唉,算了吧。拿起手机,突然很想给一些朋友发发信息,于是性质勃勃的样子,不过最后还是算了吧,因为大家都要忙,所以只和一个朋友聊了一会,随即便起床来。 似乎今天心情很不错,一路上都哼着小歌,还记得昨天晚上没事的时候一个人竟然唱起了歌来,突然想问问小白兔下午都干了啥,于是发短信聊了一会。到了快12点的时候,道了晚安,去安静的睡觉。其实那个时候依旧是没有睡意,只是躺在床上听歌,想事情。紧此而已。 今天似乎依旧又是平淡的过一天,上网,聊天,晚上回家吃饭,看电视,偶尔打打电话,应该是很安静了。好吧。就这样过吧。 「七月十九日。星期日。」 天气闷热,心情烦躁。做什么事情都没精神和动力。 没有说话的欲望。也没有写字的冲动。 想一个人安静的上网,但突然感觉有些无聊。 想起一些事情,关于昨天晚上的。 有个人拿着电话朗诵诗歌,感情饱满,让我好生佩服。 其次是念了两段小说,虽然具体没听懂啥内容,不过一时之间觉得很开心,因为以前都只是我念给别人听,或者说话。 结果一聊就聊了一个多小时,其间我笑了好几次,停顿了好几次,总之和小白兔说话很开心。 十二点了,他累了,我挂了电话,他睡觉,我继续上网无聊。 电话又响了,是花同学打来的,那个时候是十二点二十分。 我脑袋清醒,于是接了电话,想想从上个礼拜没和他说过话外,他打的每一个电话我都没接。 我说我上火,舌头上生了水疱,结果他还叫好。 我说我说话有些不清晰,让他把手机别按免提。省得我累。他不听,依旧是免提。 我说你要是在免提,我就把手机仍了,或者仍一边去睡觉。你自己一个人去自言自语。结果他不得不妥协。 他不说话,拿着手机就是听我一个人口齿不清的嘟囔着。偶尔沉闷两声。 我有些倦了,知道他其实是没事要说,只是想听听我声音,紧此而已,因为我很久没和他说过话。 手机有些微热,这个时候我心情有些不好,想起刚才小白兔发的信息。 和花同学说一个朋友惹我生气了,所以我现在不想说话。他沉默,于是我挂了电话。 看了时间,凌晨一点半,睡不着,用手机看小说。看见一个朋友在线,叫云给我处理下空间农场,于是告诉了她密码,手机没关机,仍在一边。 开了MP4,里面传来熟悉的歌声,怕耳朵再也承受不起耳机的刺激,于是空放着歌曲。 在撇了一眼闹钟,两点半,关了MP4,趴着睡着了。 开始做梦,做很多,一会喜庆,一会哭泣。 早上七点半醒来,迷迷糊糊的样子,想起说三天之内别不和他说话,于是我继续睡觉。 又开始做梦,而且是接着上次的那个,再次醒来已经是八点二十了。洗脸,没有刷牙,就漱了口,因为舌头依旧很疼。 走路上摇摇晃晃的样子,似乎还没睡醒,身体有些不舒服。 记起昨天晚上睡觉没盖被子,所以今天来有些难受,而且也打不起精神,上网打字都没力气。 现在在听歌,偶尔和朋友聊一句,更多的时间是一个人发呆,今天一天继续上班,坚持吧。 「七月二十日。星期一。」 昨天一天心情都不好,没有任何动力去做任何事情,上班上网都觉得索然无味起来。熬过了早上的时间,中午的时候因为太热,于是开了空调在房子里上班,总是一个人,同事出去游玩。所以我暂时替班一个星期,虽然不忙也不累,但是时间太长,对着电脑有时候有种恶心的感觉。 中午没事做,看不进去东西,玩着QQ空间的一些小游戏,只觉得有些幼稚,于是关了游戏,坐着发呆。看着群里安静的样子,本想着进去闹上一闹,可是却发现大家都没有说话的意思,所以干脆自己也安静一些。QQ一直处于隐身的状态,偶尔是静音。有几个朋友过来说话,只因为还不熟悉,所以我没有继续下去的冲动。随便聊了几句就开始沉默。 我想一天的时间就要慢慢的熬过去了,到了快两点的时候,实在撑不住了,打开一个电视剧看了起来,韩国的巴黎恋人,记得在很早以前就看过好几次,觉得里面的女主角很幸运,从一个灰姑娘可以变成一个公主。只是她们说的是韩语我一句也听不懂,幸好下面有翻译的汉字,于是就讲究着看吧。 时间一分一秒的过着,终于到了六点钟,想想在过十几分钟就该下班了,关了电影,关了QQ,看看今天工作的情况,似乎不是很乐观,当然也不是很坏,拖了地,收拾了卫生,剩下几分钟就六点半了,于是关门走人,下班回家,路上温度似乎很高,在我认为最起码有了38度以上,想想刚才自己上班的时候多么舒服,那也是一种享受呢。回到家,妈切了西瓜给我,狼吞虎咽的吃了两快便迫不及待的打开电视,其实并没有什么吸引人的,只是一些新闻而已,不过已经习惯了一回家先看电视。 这几天嘴巴上火,舌尖上居然长了水疱,说话的时候字都咬不清楚,阵阵的疼痛袭击迩来。吃晚上的时候妈做了煎饼还有稀饭,只是吃了一半便没有了食欲,因为舌头上的水疱真的很疼。电视一直在播放着,回到房间本想着安静躺会,可是又不知道该做什么,于是早早的关了手机认真的看起电视来,到了十点十分的时候,看着客厅里疲倦的父母,我说早点休息吧,于是关了电视回了房间。 我本想着小白兔应该是不和我说话了,谁知道因为啥。不过当我开了手机的时候发现在十分钟前他发了信息给我。然后我想着他应该不发神经了,我还是第一次听见别人给我说叫我以后别理他,哪里有这样的朋友。不过现在的我们算是冰释前贤了,因为朋友之间是没有仇恨的。看了看时间,十二点多,于是互相道了晚安,开始去睡觉。 早上起来的时候眼睛有些红肿,想起来昨天晚上又做了一夜的梦,但具体是什么内容又忘记了,九点开始上班,八点的时候就已经起床了,坐在院子里开始发呆,看见妈推着自行车回来了,问去做什么了,结果是给我买药去了,一时之间有些感动,只见他丢给我一包东西叫我早点吃了,原来是一些维生素片,还有去上火的药,有些苦,不过还是硬咽了下去。 准备出门上班,和妈打了招呼,离开了家,一路上心情好很多,我想今天应该很开心吧,就算不开心也不应该在和昨天一样郁闷了。 「七月二十一日。星期二。」 有些累了,缘于工作,已经整整上了八天的班,每天早上八点半最晚九点,一直到下午六点半最晚七点下班,一天都对着电脑,突然有种反胃的感觉。只是希望每一天都匆忙的过去,然后回到家休息,心这个时候才能安静一些。 不知道昨天发起了什么疯,去看一个人写的东西,还有关于以前的那些。似乎从里面了解了很多,只是心里有些伤感以及失落。不知道该怎么发泄,于是一个人像个疯子一样,跑进群里乱七八糟的说了一堆话,而最后的结果依旧像个疯子一样乱想。QQ上有几个朋友在线,但似乎都没有说话的欲望,六点的时候下了QQ,安静的看会小说。 上了一天网,除了没事的时候在群里聊了几句话外,一天的时间里都没有和任何人说过话,似乎有些寂寞。有些无聊。心里想着写一些字,但是实在不想动笔。晚上下班回家,妈没有在家,我知道又去舅舅家了,所以家里只有我和爸爸,吃了西瓜后开始看电视,九点半的时候一个人回房间睡觉,其实也没有睡觉,只是躺着和朋友发信息。收到叶子和花同学的短信,很欣慰。 和石头发信息聊了一阵子,似乎是关于我下午有些郁闷的话题,似乎和他说话的时候又没有那么烦躁,真不知道我这样的人是什么样子。说懂得一些道理吧,有时候又糊涂,说不懂得吧,心思又敏感的不行,或者这样的人连我自己都不能理解。 十二点的时候和一个朋友道了晚安,依旧是感谢他关心我的话,那个时候胃开始疼,不知道什么原因,关了手机躺着,开着MP4,一觉醒来已经是半夜四点多,关了MP4,安静的睡觉。 「七月二十六日。星期日。」 有一阵子没上网了,安静许多,本来想写一些东西来,关于最近几天生活里的琐碎,但有些疲惫,所以还是不写为好。 明天是兔的生日,亲口对他说声祝福的话吧。 突然想起了几个人,我发现原来自己只记得三个人的生日,一个是兔子的六月初六。一个是花的七月四号。一个是小孩的三月二十二。呵呵,看来自己记忆力很不错嘛,自己亲人的没一个能记住,朋友的倒是放在心里不少。 刚才下雨了,好大,突然感觉很凉爽。刚才写了一篇文字,放在博客里了,是庆祝兔子生日的琐碎。刚才和小孩聊天了,感觉依旧是那么亲切和熟悉,原来彼此之间即使这么久不联系,依然可以把对方看做是好朋友。 好吧,要开开心心的。就像我对别人说的,要微笑,要幸福。 「七月二十八日。星期二。」 六月初六。兔子的生日。 早上八点半刚睁开眼睛,第一个想起他来,于是给他电话,说生日快乐。 起床,很懒的样子。进客厅,看电视。 十点多的时候,妈喊我,说是做饭,于是关了电视去帮她。 一个小时以后,从厨房回来,继续看电视。 十二点钟,吃完饭,坐在沙发上。发呆。 一个小时后,回自己房间午睡。 半天,无聊,又给兔子发信息,乱七八糟的说了一堆话。 他回过消息,几个字,我开始睡觉。 做梦,好几个小时过去。 下午,妈去舅舅家,我一个人又在家无聊。 洗头,洗衣服,吃下午饭,看电视。 一直到晚上,九点的时候,兔子突然打电话来,说是去喝酒。 我吃惊,这个男人怎么这么不听话,说了不许喝酒还是这样。 三分钟的时间,他挂了电话。 于是我坐立不安,回到客厅之后又跑回房间,给他发信息,说等会给你电话,手机正在充电。 之后的时间里,依旧看电视。 九点半的时候,回房间准备休息。 突然想起末来,一个女子。 和她聊了一会电话,说了各自的心事,包括一些男人。 半小时侯之后,挂了电话。 想起说要给兔子电话,于是拨通之后。 断了一次,聊了一个多小时,很晚了。 十一点半,想起了一个人,月月。 他说出事了,然后挂了电话。 我想,月月怎么了。 十分钟之后手机想起,一个陌生的号码,预感告诉我,这是月月的电话。 接通后,我的感觉没错,是他。 说了很多关于家里的事情,他说话声音很小。 慢慢的聊起了文字,还有以前的日子。 最重要的是现在他和她之间的事情。 我说和他说话的感觉依旧很亲切,让我想起了当初刚认识的时候。 他笑了,说是现在很平静,因为我们又合好了,用他的话来说,我们之间很纠结。 纠结,我重复一次,是啊,从这半年里我们吵过,哭过,笑过,分离过,现在又像好朋友一样聊天。 我问他有什么秘密没,我想要听。 他沉思一会,说他没有任何秘密,他的事情我几乎都知道。 我想了想,也是,在我面前他一直是个善良的孩子,近乎透明。 我喊了一声,叫他月月,还有小孩,他又笑了。 我听见他弟弟说话的声音,还有他阿妈的声音。 最后安静了下来,于是挂了电话,道了晚安。 躺在床上,想一些事情,用手机上网,看见兔子的留言,还有一个身影。 我没有和花打招呼,不知道他在干嘛,我在想他还是在为另一个女子伤心吧,所以我没有说话。 我确定自己失眠了,快三点的时候脑袋依旧清楚着。 终于睡着了,开始做梦。 早晨六点的时候醒来,听歌,接着又睡着了。 七点半的时候,手机响起来,我以为是闹钟的声音,原来是兔子的电话,喊我起床上班。 说了一句知道了,挂了电话。 起床,洗脸,刷牙,梳头,时间还早,于是看了会书。 开始上班,同事说明天休息,这一段时间一人上一天班。 我想着,今天安静的过,明天又可以睡懒觉,于是笑了。 觉得无聊,上网记录下一些琐碎,只觉得有些意义。紧此而已,完毕。 PS:似乎这篇日记是一篇流水帐,但却很真实,喜欢这样淡淡的叙事方式。好吧,就这样。 「七月二十九日。星期三。」 昨天心情不爽,和一朋友绝交,原来他是个疯子。我干嘛和疯子一般见识。上班一天有些累,晚上躺在床上头疼的厉害,十一点的时候开始听歌,闭上了眼睛,手机开机了一夜,开始做梦,梦见一个人,不过现在忘记是谁了,只是记得应该我认识。起床晚了些,于是牙也没刷的上班来。午饭依旧是包子还有矿泉水,习惯了这样的生活。想起昨天写的一些文字,写了一半又删了去,心不能平静该怎么写,想找回一些痕迹继续下来,却发现被删的干干净净,于是觉得终究还是想说一些什么,断断续续的又是好几千字。 突然不想上班了,对着电脑越加的空虚,所以还是安静一些,想起前一阵子那样安静。不过现在算是平静很多,尽管左眼皮一直的跳着,似乎预示着要发生什么不好的事情,但总不能避免。所以顺其自然吧,对于什么事情都顺其自然吧。 「七月三十日。星期四。」 明天就是七月的最后一天了,八月,似乎来的有些快,一不留神,09年的一大半又过去了。试问自己在这一年里有什么收获,想了很久,终于发现,现实的生活还是空白,空白的快要发疯,网络的世界里,那曾经纠结的差不多已经过去,按理来说应该平静很多,只是有些时候会想起来很多。记得昨天和小孩聊天,说叫他淡然一些,事后回家的路上,想起了自己,觉得既然都给别人那样的开导,那么自己呢,自己是不是应该更从容一些。 今天早上起来,门口一声声的炮响惊动起来,突然想起来了,原来是隔壁家的朋友结婚,那男生是87年初的,比我大不了几个月,女朋友似乎比我们还小了一些,快靠近90后了。看着那热闹的场面,不晓得该说什么,只是记得和好几个朋友曾经聊起过关于什么时候结婚的问题,有的人说要在30岁的时候,有人说要在毕业以后,有人说要在工作稳定之后,总之每个人都有自己的想法。突然很正视起来自己,那么自己是怎么想呢。应该按照妈的想法来,在快到本命年的时候结婚,也就是23岁,或者更早一切,在或者本命年以后。而今已经是22岁了,那么来说就是明年了。但是似乎身边没有合适的人,所以我有时候在想,一个女人一辈子不结婚是什么样子。还记得以前经常在父母面前撒娇说,我要永远陪在你们身边,而现在逐渐成长以后只是觉得父母比以前更唠叨了一些,所以我想着要一个人生活的想法,只是截止到目前为止我依旧没有那个能力。以后的生活不知道会发生成什么样子,但似乎已经没有了当初的那些美好的向往,只是现在觉得,等待,也是一种幸福。 说了不想上网了,休息几天,但总是有各种理由让我依旧对着电脑,算了吧,既来之,则安之。放好心态,不要强求什么,那不是更好。 「七月三十一日。星期五。」 七月结束,八月开始,这一段时间里,经过高兴,悲伤,痛苦,彷徨,更多的是平静。好吧,岁月就这样的过吧。 【责任编辑:若水浮萍】 赞 (散文编辑:江南风) 我家微信时代的年三十 前年,公公过生日时曾准备给他买个智能手机,主要目的是想教他们玩玩微信,也好让他们… 国版《解忧杂货店》观后感 每个人都是靠着自己的努力,才走向了更好的人生。 咨询信的答案,只是在鼓励一颗已有… 一个基督徒的情感日记(2018年1月14号) 2018年1月14号: 今天,吴江的气温比较温暖,不似前几天那般寒冷。昨天与今天,吴江的… 做个不停止成长的人 莉莉老师上瑜伽课时带着浓重的鼻音不停咳嗽着。可能不舒服,她今天示范动作少了很多,… 一个基督徒的情感日记(2018年1月13号) 2018年1月13号: 昨天,姐姐和外甥小大卫并没有过来我和母亲暂住的金家坝东湾村这里,… 一个基督徒的情感日记(2018年1月12号) 2018年1月12号: 前天的时候,我说:“母亲明天去昆山。”然而昨天,母亲并没有去昆山…

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Zdqsmvt

To powder

You are good! First of all, prose online and hand-in-hand literature express our heartfelt thanks to you: you have worked hard. The original gathering here, the heart returns to one place. We met unexpectedly in the long river of life. The same hobbies and pursuits come together. It is also the pursuit of words in the heart and steps along the steps. No matter whether this process is long or short, it will also be engraved with deep imprints on the journey of life, and the beautiful pages will be engraved on the title pages of our history. The work of editors and moderators is troublesome and laborious, which undoubtedly takes up a lot of our spare time. Therefore, our editors and moderators are worthy of our earnest heart and perception with the true meaning of soul. But occasionally I think that some people waste their spare time on mahjong tables and in the mire of red wine and green. We also add a lot of interest and enrich our old life for our hobbies in editing work. The result of painstaking efforts may be a simple sentence from readers and authors, and our hearts are enough. You have worked hard. As authors and readers, we are all obvious. Prose online and hand-in-hand literature is for the vast number of literature lovers to have a holy soul, and to provide a place for everyone to exchange words. Now it is still in the development stage, and there is no profit. Therefore, editors and moderators are both obligatory workers, which is undoubtedly the embarrassment of prose online and literature holding hands to editors and moderators. But on another thought, the editor did not come for money, but for the fate and harmony of hobbies. Sometimes, spiritual rewards are far greater than material rewards. Prose online and hand-in-hand literature are making unremitting efforts and insisting on development. Of course, I am also thinking about the embodiment of material remuneration for editors and authors. At present, a publishing house has selected Manuscripts and published books on the website, which can be published in November. I have cooperated with a magazine and prepared to select manuscripts on the website for publication in each issue. The remuneration is given according to the magazine standards. And we regularly publish electronic magazines every month, which lay the foundation for the development of prose online and hand in hand literature. The world changes and the years change. In the development process of the website, people are always changing, which is also a normal phenomenon. The river water is constantly flowing, metabolism, Sun and Moon change, and people are also ambitious. Therefore, some old friends of the website left temporarily, some were more interested, and some new friends came. We all laugh and welcome. Guests come and friends go. As long as we are here, there will be some fragrance left. Of course, we hope that the best thing for our friends is to walk all the way, without dropping the thread or breaking the fork. Our editors and moderators should not feel lost because of the coming and going of talents. As long as we have firm faith and enough confidence, we can also keep the footsteps of our friends. Dear editors and moderators. Take our hobbies as our own business! We are masters of prose online and hand-in-hand literature. As long as we pay sincerely, we will succeed. Our friendship is permanent and our future is beautiful. [Responsible editor: Ke Er]] Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the 30th year of my WeChat era The year before last, my eunuch planned to buy a smartphone for him on his birthday. The main purpose was to teach them how to play WeChat, and let them… Comments on the Chinese version of “worry-free grocery store” Everyone moves towards a better life through his own efforts. The answer to the consultation letter is just encouraging an existing… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 14, 2018) January 14, 2018: Today, the temperature in Wujiang is relatively warm, not as cold as a few days ago. Yesterday and Today, Wu Jiang’s… Be a person who never stops growing up Teacher Lily coughed with a strong nasal tone when she was in yoga class. Maybe it’s uncomfortable, she has less demonstration action today,… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 13, 2018) January 13, 2018: Yesterday, my sister and nephew Little David didn’t come to the Dongwan village of jinjiaba where my mother and I stayed temporarily,… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 12, 2018) January 12, 2018: The day before yesterday, I said, “my mother will go to Kunshan tomorrow.” However, yesterday, my mother did not go to Kunshan…

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Wiohwazw

Mahjong

[Introduction] people who rub hemp are all colleagues in the unit, and they are middle-level in the unit. Leaders don’t allow playing mahjong during the day, so they have to work overtime at night to enjoy themselves. If you are afraid of affecting the rest of your wife and children, you may come to a single colleague’s house to fight. I woke up in my sleepiness, and there was a voice ringing in my ears, which was not loud, but very clear in the silent night. I could tell carefully that it was from my neighbor who was separated from me. Besides the voice, it was accompanied by the sound of small objects hitting the table. I guess, what did this sound make? I can’t judge it for a while. For a while, a thump thump—–like a glass ball jumping over glass sound spread to come over. I see. Someone is playing mahjong. At this time, I had woken up, but my eyelids were painful, and I was resenting these people who were only happy for myself for a while. I don’t smoke, and I don’t drink. I can only play simple poker, and I can’t even play enough level. I only know something about mahjong, but I don’t like to play. I don’t like or dislike people who play mahjong. I always like quietness and hate others disturbing my sleep, especially in the midnight. Now I am disturbed and awake, and I feel very annoyed in my heart, but because of the neighbor’s face, it is not convenient to attack. The house that my colleague and I lived in was provided by the unit, which was actually the original Big House. There were several walls separated in the middle, and everyone lived in one room. The sound insulation effect of such a house is very poor, so the sound of mahjong is heard. Colleagues don’t play mahjong, because other colleagues come to other places to play, it is inconvenient to refuse, so they have to acquiesce. I covered the quilt on my head and tried my best to calm down and fall asleep. The floc was louder and louder, but it became clearer. After a while, the brain was full of noise, and the mood became more irritable. The body was constantly flipping on the bed, and there was a sound in the ears that didn’t exist, like being in an autumn night, surrounded by the sound of chaotic crickets, it seems that the cicadas in summer are endless, and finally there is no sleepiness at all. When the light was turned on, the clock suddenly pointed to two or fifteen in the morning. I really admire the energy of these people. They work hard during the day and work until in the evening. They are still energetic. I turned off the light and lay on the bed again. I vaguely heard a slight snoring. It was the neighbor who fell asleep. The numb people are all colleagues in the unit, and they are middle-level in the unit. The leaders don’t allow playing mahjong during the day, so they have to work overtime at night to enjoy themselves. If you are afraid of affecting the rest of your wife and children, you may come to a single colleague’s house to fight. I am ashamed of these selfish people. [Editor in charge: Man Tree] Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the 30th year of my WeChat era The year before last, my eunuch planned to buy a smartphone for him on his birthday. The main purpose was to teach them how to play WeChat, and let them… Comments on the Chinese version of “worry-free grocery store” Everyone moves towards a better life through his own efforts. The answer to the consultation letter is just encouraging an existing… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 14, 2018) January 14, 2018: Today, the temperature in Wujiang is relatively warm, not as cold as a few days ago. Yesterday and Today, Wu Jiang’s… Be a person who never stops growing up Teacher Lily coughed with a strong nasal tone when she was in yoga class. Maybe it’s uncomfortable, she has less demonstration action today,… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 13, 2018) January 13, 2018: Yesterday, my sister and nephew Little David didn’t come to the Dongwan village of jinjiaba where my mother and I stayed temporarily,… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 12, 2018) January 12, 2018: The day before yesterday, I said, “my mother will go to Kunshan tomorrow.” However, yesterday, my mother did not go to Kunshan…

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Vyslbigc

Village

[Introduction] a short stay makes people understand this truth better. When we arrived at the destination, we unloaded the burden, reviewed today’s events, sorted out the results, and made arrangements for tomorrow. Then, wash and go to bed. I also watched TV for a few minutes before falling asleep, just as a filling of the blank. Is it the leisure feeling of seeking seclusion and visiting victory? Not. Maybe there is such a beautiful thing in my heart! I really like the old courtyard, the color of the old wood, the withered grass on the front door and the quiet corner of the courtyard wall; I even like the dilapidated house and the barren grass. I don’t have to be the empty shell of the old glory that can be remembered. I prefer the small door which is never eye-catching and quietly hiding on one side, even the Chai Fei. The low small room inside, the neat or messy scene in front of and behind the house, all inexplicably made me feel kind. The living, talking, you answered to me, noisy, singing and laughing, the smoke in Yiyi ruins seen by pastoral poets every day, creating the traffic of moving and comforting people who have no conversion to the lost, and the artistic conception of hearing each other, they, we are enjoying a peaceful, happy, tranquil and warm life. However, those dilapidated empty houses without living reminded people of those who had lived here at a glance. They also talked, quarreled, laughed and also used. People. Living and dying are silent, just receiving life and returning it to Immortals! Is the time passed yesterday and today really gone? No, it seems that they still exist somewhere. Inside, it is wrapped by yourself and all the people, things and things around you. There, the sun was still hanging on its own, the flowers were still open, the smell of life was still filled with self-care, and the personnel were also spreading out. Besides, I meditated by myself, and you are always accompanied. Don’t say, once existed, it really existed all the time and never went away! However, yesterday I and today I can’t talk. Not because of different time and space, different time and space can also meet in dreams there is no time and space in the dream world; But because of the fact that life has changed its theme and heart has changed its environment. Everything in the past remains in the past, and everything in the present stands in the present. In the past, in the past world, today is beside the eyes and faces of today. So, what about your friendship? Does it belong to yesterday or today? If it could step from yesterday to today, how could I be so lonely? I want to make an extradition between yesterday and today, but no! Why does the world come in a second while people are separated into two? The days of guests and families are repeated. So burnout. When the surrounding scenes are so familiar that they turn a blind eye, when no plan becomes a habit, it is not that I live, but that time passes by me. Wading through it, leaving no memory!? A guest house is a guest, a guest, a home, just relative. In fact, where are people not absolute customers? But the length of residence is different. Staying in a hotel is a guest of two days a day, staying in a ward is a guest of two weeks a week or even two months a month, staying in a dormitory is a guest of one year, two years or even three years and four years, the longest customer is only a few decades! We don’t have permanent residence, and the concept of home is a misunderstanding. Guests and homes are just habitats at night. Habitat is our original intention to own a residence. Habitat is to inject the tired body into vitality again. The short stay makes people understand this truth better. When we arrived at the destination, we unloaded the burden, reviewed today’s events, sorted out the results, and made arrangements for tomorrow. Then, wash and go to bed. I also watched TV for a few minutes before falling asleep, just as a filling of the blank. Wake up the next morning, go to the window, look at the weather, look at the early people, tidy up, go out. Traveling makes people understand home better. Simple, restored! Restored, refreshing! Today’s life is very heavy! I just went out habitually in the morning, went home at night, ate habitually, watched TV habitually, and went to bed habitually; So did the next day. So, go round and begin again! Like can permanent. Oh! Do with myself? In fact, the body is just the dwelling place of the soul, and the soul is just the guest of the body. Everything will not last long! Then why do you live faintly? Why is it not simple, not restored, not refreshing? [Editor in charge: Ke Er] Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the 30th year of my WeChat era The year before last, my eunuch planned to buy a smartphone for him on his birthday. The main purpose was to teach them how to play WeChat, and let them… Comments on the Chinese version of “worry-free grocery store” Everyone moves towards a better life through his own efforts. The answer to the consultation letter is just encouraging an existing… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 14, 2018) January 14, 2018: Today, the temperature in Wujiang is relatively warm, not as cold as a few days ago. Yesterday and Today, Wu Jiang’s… Be a person who never stops growing up Teacher Lily coughed with a strong nasal tone when she was in yoga class. Maybe it’s uncomfortable, she has less demonstration action today,… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 13, 2018) January 13, 2018: Yesterday, my sister and nephew Little David didn’t come to the Dongwan village of jinjiaba where my mother and I stayed temporarily,… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 12, 2018) January 12, 2018: The day before yesterday, I said, “my mother will go to Kunshan tomorrow.” However, yesterday, my mother did not go to Kunshan…

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Vyslbigc

Blessing

Probably at the moment when I decided to live with him, I was doomed to be lonely in the future. I am not great but not bad enough. Looking at the happy ship gradually heading far away, maybe only in this way can love last forever even if it has passed long ago. The clouds are light and the wind is light, but there are memories in the bottom of my heart, just like the rainbow after the rain streaking across the sky. The beauty of a moment plays the most beautiful part in the gloomy life. Some people say that life is the most beautiful only when there is just like the legend of the six reincarnation people passing by on the Naihe bridge may have the love passing by in this life so familiar and strange if life is perfect after all, who will make the same mistake again no matter whether you or I will continue I’m begging for the past and the present. After all, we have loved. For this love, don’t hurt each other. Maybe someday, it will be your harbor where I can keep warm. You are happy. I’m smiling. It proves your choice at that time. My leaving is right. If one day you and I meet again, just walk away gently and don’t disturb the dusty memory, which is the expression of loving me. If there is missing, I will know if I raise my head and smile. [Responsible editor: Leaves]] Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the 30th year of my WeChat era The year before last, my eunuch planned to buy a smartphone for him on his birthday. The main purpose was to teach them how to play WeChat, and let them… Comments on the Chinese version of “worry-free grocery store” Everyone moves towards a better life through his own efforts. The answer to the consultation letter is just encouraging an existing… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 14, 2018) January 14, 2018: Today, the temperature in Wujiang is relatively warm, not as cold as a few days ago. Yesterday and Today, Wu Jiang’s… Be a person who never stops growing up Teacher Lily coughed with a strong nasal tone when she was in yoga class. Maybe it’s uncomfortable, she has less demonstration action today,… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 13, 2018) January 13, 2018: Yesterday, my sister and nephew Little David didn’t come to the Dongwan village of jinjiaba where my mother and I stayed temporarily,… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 12, 2018) January 12, 2018: The day before yesterday, I said, “my mother will go to Kunshan tomorrow.” However, yesterday, my mother did not go to Kunshan…

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Snbcaeg

Life

[Introduction] I don’t have IQ, let alone EQ. I believe in others more than myself. When I am merciful, the laughter outside the window has begun to ripple. You can’t see a creature in the turbid sky, just like a complex mood but actually very simple. People’s desires are endless, and it seems that the more pressure they put on themselves, life is as big as heart. In fact, sometimes I don’t know what kind of life I really want. To put it bluntly, I torture myself and finally find myself running in the same place. The footsteps of others are always so powerful, but I am always hesitating whether to take the first step. In this way, God will not pity stupid children, but only complain about himself. I don’t know what I think or how to find the right way. Originally, I just didn’t like the person who read the instruction manual. It seemed that I hadn’t understood the instruction manual of life yet and started to issue the instruction in confusion. The result was regret and injury. When he got himself to the bottom, there would be a flame burning again. I didn’t know whether he would become the weight of life, but the result was still halfway. It is common for others to find what they are trying to do. Sometimes too much preciseness and conservatism will only disappear in the long river of time, and finally nothing can be left. Perhaps what was left was the petals rotted with the soil last year, which had been brushed through the clean water. I don’t have IQ, let alone EQ. I believe in others more than myself. When I am merciful, the laughter outside the window has begun to ripple. You can’t see a creature in the turbid sky, just like a complex mood but actually very simple. If one punch can break my heart, then ten punches will be indifferent. Usually I sigh for small things but don’t feel the urgency of big things. Small citizen, small woman, small thought life is too big to protect my soul. The wind and sand dancing crazy dance swept through everything, and everything of mine was so small. Everything was followed by inexplicable peace, or living a strange life and having strange dreams. [Editor in charge: Yuehua]] Like (prose editor: prose online) the 30th year of my WeChat era The year before last, my eunuch planned to buy a smartphone for him on his birthday. The main purpose was to teach them how to play WeChat, and let them… Comments on the Chinese version of “worry-free grocery store” Everyone moves towards a better life through his own efforts. The answer to the consultation letter is just encouraging an existing… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 14, 2018) January 14, 2018: Today, the temperature in Wujiang is relatively warm, not as cold as a few days ago. Yesterday and Today, Wu Jiang’s… Be a person who never stops growing up Teacher Lily coughed with a strong nasal tone when she was in yoga class. Maybe it’s uncomfortable, she has less demonstration action today,… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 13, 2018) January 13, 2018: Yesterday, my sister and nephew Little David didn’t come to the Dongwan village of jinjiaba where my mother and I stayed temporarily,… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 12, 2018) January 12, 2018: The day before yesterday, I said, “my mother will go to Kunshan tomorrow.” However, yesterday, my mother did not go to Kunshan…

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Ftmiiedrr

Blank

The dazzling sunlight is becoming softer than the summer light. In no hurry, I moved out a chair from home and sat at the door, enjoying the time comfortably. Sometimes the time seemed too long for me, or it was dull and ridiculous, just like this road, pedestrians come and go continuously every day but still do not change. Up to now, no one cares about its breakdown, and no one deliberately arranges anything. I often wonder why? Why can’t I go anywhere? Why do I have congenital disability and why can’t I walk with that leg straight? Soon, my sister’s size surpassed me, and even the child next door grew taller. I was still short. I also went to school. I went with my sister and walked slowly with my schoolbag on my back. I can’t understand what the teacher said, and I am often ridiculed by my classmates. But that kind of mood is colorful, yeah! It is as beautiful as a painting pen. But later I didn’t know what it was. Dad brought me back, saying that I had something wrong with my intelligence. Was that stupid? Maybe, I have been in the first grade for two years, but I still can’t count. Those numbers are so far away from me that they are too far to be pieced together. Since then, I grew up in the crowd, with inflexible legs, watching my father coming home from work and my mother coming in and out. It was always difficult for them to listen to me patiently. I love snacks, and the sweet taste is irresistible to occupy my mind. No matter where it is, there is an irresistible desire. Even strangers will make me close because of its existence. Chatting became my hobby, which was the atmosphere that my family could not reach. My sister disdained me, and most of my parents scolded me. After listening too much, I would argue loudly. You know, I am not so easy to bully! My sister has a lot of new clothes and a lot of pocket money. Others say this is a preference. I understand. I don’t look upright enough, my face is black, my eyes are swollen, and my cheeks on both sides are not well-proportioned, especially my teeth. The gap is like wind passing through and not neat enough. When I first laughed, I also touched it with my hands or bowed my head embarrassedly. Later I got used to it, which didn’t affect anything. The clothes were all for my sister, and my mother didn’t buy a new one until the Spring Festival. At that time, I was the happiest, and the neighbors would also praise me a few words, which were luxurious feelings for me. Mahjong at home seems to never stop. I can’t remember when it started. Those noisy corners full of life also cover my existence. When I am bored, I moved a chair and sat at the spacious door, watching people coming and going, listening to gossip in the neighborhood, or chatting with my sister across the door. She was the same age as me, and I was older than her, but it was far from her height and cultivation. When mother mentioned it, she would sigh uncontrollably. Why were there so many people so different? I really don’t understand this question. I went to visit the store when I was free. I felt that we were very close to each other, and the topics kept flowing. Generally, I said that people outside the family were right and wrong, and they just talked about something. She listened kindly and asked a few words from time to time, especially the gentle smile, which made me feel very special. Sometimes when she was reading at the door, I sat quietly on the opposite side, looking at her devotion, thinking what was the secret in the book? So attractive, I only know that TV plays, as long as they are popular, make me interested, no matter who you are, you can talk for a long time. Gradually, I found that she went home less and seldom saw her. Until one day she disappeared at the end of the road in a red dress, others said she had left the cabinet. We also moved and left the former place. My parents bought a house for my sister, feeling so uncomfortable. I do not know is long-term too much TV? Still not closed? The body is very poor in all aspects, and the consciousness is blurred. I just found that my mother had white hair, which was just gray in the past. My incomplete daughter let her spend her whole life. She was afraid that I would be bullied and lost in the street, worried about various. Now my sister’s child has grown up, and the years are gone step by step. I seem to see its back. Once I almost got married, and my family once made a fuss. The thin man with slight defects could not be relied on after all, and the front dust was in vain. Sunshine, the hot light was cut off. I just lay on my little bed, thinking about the hazy things. There were only a burst of mahjong sounds left in my memory… Like (prose editor: Yue ran) the 30th year of my WeChat era The year before last, my eunuch planned to buy a smartphone for him on his birthday. The main purpose was to teach them how to play WeChat, and let them… Comments on the Chinese version of “worry-free grocery store” Everyone moves towards a better life through his own efforts. The answer to the consultation letter is just encouraging an existing… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 14, 2018) January 14, 2018: Today, the temperature in Wujiang is relatively warm, not as cold as a few days ago. Yesterday and Today, Wu Jiang’s… Be a person who never stops growing up Teacher Lily coughed with a strong nasal tone when she was in yoga class. Maybe it’s uncomfortable, she has less demonstration action today,… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 13, 2018) January 13, 2018: Yesterday, my sister and nephew Little David didn’t come to the Dongwan village of jinjiaba where my mother and I stayed temporarily,… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 12, 2018) January 12, 2018: The day before yesterday, I said, “my mother will go to Kunshan tomorrow.” However, yesterday, my mother did not go to Kunshan…

Categories
Cduchha

Memories

There are some very ordinary places, because I have been to the people I like and have wonderful memories there, then ordinary is no longer ordinary. Once, there was such a muddy path. There are weeds and rocks everywhere, because no one cares about them all the year round, and the trees there grow naturally and wild. But in my memory, it is so beautiful and even inviolable. Because that was the place where I walked with her. After separation, only memories remain. Memory is like a ruthless killer. In my defenseless night, it came quietly and killed me unprepared. When memories came, loneliness followed. I felt that the whole world abandoned myself, like a lonely grass. The cold wind was wanton, swaying and trembling alone in the cold wind. It was late at night, but I found that I had changed a dozen sleeping positions, but it was still difficult to fall asleep. Although memory is sometimes like a killer, memory needs our good protection, because memory is sacred. If a person has no memory, then his life is incomplete. Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the 30th year of my WeChat era The year before last, my eunuch planned to buy a smartphone for him on his birthday. The main purpose was to teach them how to play WeChat, and let them… Comments on the Chinese version of “worry-free grocery store” Everyone moves towards a better life through his own efforts. The answer to the consultation letter is just encouraging an existing… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 14, 2018) January 14, 2018: Today, the temperature in Wujiang is relatively warm, not as cold as a few days ago. Yesterday and Today, Wu Jiang’s… Be a person who never stops growing up Teacher Lily coughed with a strong nasal tone when she was in yoga class. Maybe it’s uncomfortable, she has less demonstration action today,… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 13, 2018) January 13, 2018: Yesterday, my sister and nephew Little David didn’t come to the Dongwan village of jinjiaba where my mother and I stayed temporarily,… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 12, 2018) January 12, 2018: The day before yesterday, I said, “my mother will go to Kunshan tomorrow.” However, yesterday, my mother did not go to Kunshan…

Categories
Zurmwlcyksf

gui hua

[Editor’s note] Yihua quotations are undoubtedly the author’s feelings about life and love classics in his heart. Yihua quotations and sentences like broken thoughts are beating the spiritual light, if the shape is scattered but the God is not scattered, the heart will be defeated by accident. Recommend it! Thank you for your dedication, support and recommendation! 1. Do you know, as long as you give me a place in your heart, I will make it full of orchids …… 2. My biggest wish is to drive a top Khan horse and walk hand in hand with my favorite woman around the corner of the world …… 3. Only when I fell in love with you did I know that there is another plague called loneliness spreading in my heart. It is you who trick me, and the antidote is still you …… 4. With only one photo, I gave her my heart. Perhaps, this is the cheapest token in the world, but it needs to be exchanged carefully …… 5. My world is as quiet as a makeup mirror table reflecting the girl’s mind …… 6. Is it hopeless to lose happiness alone? 7-piece set. Once upon a time, my wish was to turn into a bamboo flute that can create beauty. Only when you kiss me and touch me will I give you an ethereal melody …… 8. Wake up the whole world with a candle fire, hold up a bamboo Wormwood, carry a bosom friend, and trace back to the source of the Milky Way …… 9. I want to protect you in my dream, because there is only happiness …… 10. Tears are hot, which can burn the lover’s heart …… 11. The sky is wet and seems to be crying, just like singing your almost silent Plain Song …… 12. This detailed and trivial voice, I don’t know whose voice touched the clouds, will you listen silently? Will the lake surface ripple? Will lotus petals contain Lotus Dew? Please your favor …… 13. Dew drops away from the tip of the Awn, and lovers hold out an umbrella gently. Green reed grass tears, lovers laugh and say …… 14. The darkness of silence slips through my heart like water, coldly, washing away my remaining self-esteem and hope …… 15. I will give up this secluded garden, this secular …… I will show up at the Ferry of the water market with a guqin, and fall in love with the life I am looking for …… 16. Intuition told me that she did not belong here, nor did she belong to the secular world. So I want to take her to a place where a couple can live in seclusion …… 17. Our eyes were always held together. Her eyes were soft, which made my mind ripple …… 18. Forgive me, there is no open space in my heart to let your green grass spring heart spread …… 19. I will go with you, I am yours …… 20. But I can only return to her faded back, without looking back …… 21. I always thought wine was the most considerate partner …… 22. What kind of world is locked in your heart? I am skinny, where can I hold my haggard figure? 23. As long as you keep a purity in your heart, then here will certainly give you the most perfect love …… 24. Only in this way can you remember me …… only in this way can you surpass the happiness that I don’t know where to go …… 25. As long as you are by my side, my world will only be happy …… any one can’t enter, including my light and quiet piano …… 26. How can pain be a kind of beauty? 27. I have to learn from my mind to make it pure and spotless. Only in this way can you see all your beauty clearly …… only in this way can a heart of love not become extreme …… 28. When you are lonely, there is loneliness to accompany me …… 29. How many charming women are willing to die for me? 30. The country is picturesque, but I only love beauty …… 31. I know the pain of loneliness very well, so I can only pity you with tears …… 32. I like you, and what I like is inexplicable …… 33. Love cannot be obliterated, even if love is not …… 34. Even if I know that there is poison through the intestines, as long as it is you who serve the Cup, I will smile and frown without any poison …… 35. There are too many reasons for you to open your heart in this season to accept the fragrance and warmth of flowers that are overflowing to nowhere …… 36. You know, I always try to be a perfect man, at least in your eyes …… 37. I want to warm you with every word I say, to make you feel happy, to make you feel happy as the shadow goes with you …… 38. I always think that I am a person who will be lonely for a lifetime. There is no woman disturbing or caring for her …… 39. If you can give me a real romance, I will still come back to you …… 40. I want to use my words to change the beautiful pattern of the world …… 41. You are like the only blooming flower in winter, despising everything The color is colorful 42. I want to have a garden of my own …… it may have no elegant decoration and precious rosewood furniture, but at least it should have the wind and floc in the forest, which will give you the verve of tree language. I want to have a lover …… she may not have the appearance to change the color of the country, she may not have the width to decorate a mink woman, but at least she is a pure and true bosom friend. I want to have a future …… it can have no status admired by tens of thousands of people and no life full of money, but at least it should have a graceful mood. 43. Miss you to take care of my body, Miss me to take care of your life …… 44. I don’t want to go anywhere except missing you …… except missing you, I began to hate everything …… 45. The lights of last night were dim. My dark silhouette curled up on the windowsill was warm by the cold moonlight. Just like that, I went to sleep silently …… 46. Only orchid is with me …… 47. I met you, even if I was a ghost without desire or desire, I would still be reluctant to drink Meng Po Tang …… besides, I was still a person living in the secular world? 48. What can make people happier than happiness? 49. Who will end my wandering in a boat …… 50. When I lit a candlelight near her, I accidentally woke up the whole world …… 51. The ambiguity of Moonlight comforts me for a long time. Comfort the charm of the other side of my soul. 52. People all say that writing is a dream, but in my dream, there is a place more beautiful than fairyland. 53. The Moonlight leaks into the dream and floats on the face …… 54. Except you, I am the happiest person in the world…… Like (prose editor: Ke Er) the 30th year of my WeChat era The year before last, my eunuch planned to buy a smartphone for him on his birthday. The main purpose was to teach them how to play WeChat, and let them… Comments on the Chinese version of “worry-free grocery store” Everyone moves towards a better life through his own efforts. The answer to the consultation letter is just encouraging an existing… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 14, 2018) January 14, 2018: Today, the temperature in Wujiang is relatively warm, not as cold as a few days ago. Yesterday and Today, Wu Jiang’s… Be a person who never stops growing up Teacher Lily coughed with a strong nasal tone when she was in yoga class. Maybe it’s uncomfortable, she has less demonstration action today,… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 13, 2018) January 13, 2018: Yesterday, my sister and nephew Little David didn’t come to the Dongwan village of jinjiaba where my mother and I stayed temporarily,… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 12, 2018) January 12, 2018: The day before yesterday, I said, “my mother will go to Kunshan tomorrow.” However, yesterday, my mother did not go to Kunshan…

Categories
Vyslbigc

That a

This morning, I was cleaning up my desk after work, I accidentally opened the phone list that I typed last winter …… looking at the familiar and strange phone number looking at the phone number that frequently appeared on the phone list, my heart was almost broken at this moment I understand what the so-called heart is like a knife …… although it has been nearly a year, the pain and injustice in my heart can never be destroyed. I also try to forget this unworthy injury, but every time I think of it it’s all painful, tears streaming down my face, I don’t know where to go, helpless… but for the reality, I can only go down with my scalp but leave a hard scar in the corner of my heart. I don’t know how to eliminate it and when to forget it. I just feel that it seems to be indelible to accumulate more and more in my heart, but life has to continue. Maybe this is the beautiful life and this is the meaning of life…… [Responsible editor: Leaves]] Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the 30th year of my WeChat era The year before last, my eunuch planned to buy a smartphone for him on his birthday. The main purpose was to teach them how to play WeChat, and let them… Comments on the Chinese version of “worry-free grocery store” Everyone moves towards a better life through his own efforts. The answer to the consultation letter is just encouraging an existing… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 14, 2018) January 14, 2018: Today, the temperature in Wujiang is relatively warm, not as cold as a few days ago. Yesterday and Today, Wu Jiang’s… Be a person who never stops growing up Teacher Lily coughed with a strong nasal tone when she was in yoga class. Maybe it’s uncomfortable, she has less demonstration action today,… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 13, 2018) January 13, 2018: Yesterday, my sister and nephew Little David didn’t come to the Dongwan village of jinjiaba where my mother and I stayed temporarily,… An emotional diary of a Christian (January 12, 2018) January 12, 2018: The day before yesterday, I said, “my mother will go to Kunshan tomorrow.” However, yesterday, my mother did not go to Kunshan…