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A moment

It is not very clear what kind of thing it is. For people with delicate hearts, such a thing is really not a good thing. Everything wants to go to extremes, I feel that everything is not too optimistic. The serious pessimism may be because of this reason, which leads to such self-abasement. I really want to know what kind of expression would you look like if you really said that I love you, whether you are surprised or at a loss or despised, just because you are afraid of the result that you don’t like, is that why I dare not say it?! Or because he was afraid of his contempt, this kind of self would become less confident in the long run. What on earth would he do. Envy others’ happiness, envy others’ overbearing, but on earth you are not that kind of person, why did you have such a result, and when did you start. It should be in that sensitive period, it should start from his unreasonable jokes when he was young, and this kind of oneself may be the serious consequence of loving beauty, after all, I am an unconfident person. I want to make changes, but it is not that simple. Praise a point into a line and then a deep bottomless hole, put yourself firmly inside, hoping to see the sunshine, but also like the darkness, in this way, time passed quickly in the struggle of constantly trying to face the sunshine. Now thinking about it, I can’t even remember what the result was. It was really troublesome. In such a lonely life, I don’t think about why others have such feelings. I am only a bystander, not participating, not longing, but still have a little expectation in my heart, looking forward to the appearance of someone who can understand himself, but even if he appears, he may not be happy. It depends on what kind of person he is. If he doesn’t meet his requirements, or I also want to choose myself, so I think it’s like Zhang Ailing, a woman who is brilliant in talent but such an unbearable person in life, I don’t want to be such a person. Maybe their life is very common, but her achievements are too great, which enlarges her misfortune for no reason, what’s more, she also dissected her heart layer by layer with her pen, without tears or blood, But it makes people feel a pain of dying. Don’t want to know, in fact, people are really very small. In the vast universe, everyone’s existence is instantaneous, just like one second, or even one second is not available, it is such a life, and there is nothing to fight for, but people often don’t think so, want to enjoy, want to compare, but like those great people, successful people, their thoughts are good, just like the angel who has landed on the world, should have a touch of secular atmosphere, if you can’t stand it, it can only be abnormal, that is, suicide like Gu Cheng, or crazy like Nietzsche, which is really ridiculous, this may show that God is fair from another aspect. Then, from the aspect of mate selection, everyone’s thoughts are different, because different results will come out, but everyone often gives himself a set, can not go through this set, if you pass through, it shows that it is not allowed, and it is condemned by public opinion accordingly. Everyone’s life is based on happiness. If he can’t be happy, then what’s the point of living? Maybe this can be understood Zhang Guorong. Why did he commit suicide, suicide is certainly not what he wants most. He wants to be happy like others, but he can’t. In that era, homosexuality is not accepted because he can’t get happiness, just because of the exaggeration of public opinion, he dared not face it any more, thinking about who could face it again. Who can face the newspaper report, the reporter’s interview and the conversation between people he knows and those he doesn’t know? Zhang Guorong himself is the same, so he chooses to be silent, the best way to remain silent is to die. Facing the sea, the spring blossoms are so beautiful, but such a peaceful beauty is not allowed by the secular world. The difference between imagination and reality is so far, from the initial disappointment to the final unbearable, haizi left in such unwillingness and disappointment, leaving this noisy and terrible world to find a place with sea, flowers and spring, which should be in heaven. From the above thoughts, I have to think about the meaning of living. What is the purpose of living? Anyway, the first thing is for myself, or I dare not face death, that’s why we live in peace. Some people live like trees, and live for growth; Some people live for enjoyment. If you have money, you spend it once; If you have no money, you are hungry; but some people live as if they want to fulfill their responsibilities in the afterlife, just like Hawking. Imagine if someone else would have such achievements, he said: physics doesn’t have feelings. It is the beauty of life that makes me walk like this. He likes sunshine and Cambridge, which doesn’t regard him as a freak. Maybe this kind of ordinary makes him happy; but what do more people live for? Have they thought about that carefully? Even if they think about it, what kind of result is it? What kind of thing is it, I really want to know!

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