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Compared with comedy and drama, I prefer tragedy to TV series and movies. I like the feeling of crying happily and sadly. After watching some movies, I just close the computer and sleep peacefully, however, after watching some films, you will lie on the bed and toss about the plot. I like the latter, because it gives me a sense of real existence and achievement; Novels and essays, compared with fairy tales and narrations, I prefer healing things. I like to sit at the desk by the window in a quiet afternoon and slowly feel delicate strokes and sad stories, that kind of sadness and sadness had better haunt me for a week, which should also be seeking a sense of history. I always doubt whether things in the past have actually happened, so I often find something that can be used as relics when it happens, and what makes me feel this kind of history most is sad feelings. I am an optimistic person, but he just doesn’t like the reaction of laughing when he thinks of something, but enjoys the process of seeing things and thinking about people and touching scenes. Nowadays, people are always pursuing a kind of so-called strong pain. It is the most basic thing that you can’t cry. If you are seriously ill, you still insist on going to work and attending classes. Crying ghosts are the most shameful. Men don’t flick their tears, tears are the most unimportant cheap things, which are common sense… Therefore, tears gradually disappeared in this world, but laughter did not increase, but everyone became numb and cold-blooded. I am afraid that I will become such a person, so I have been looking for opportunities to prove that I am not such a person, but I can’t find it. This is probably the reason why I am eager to see tears. I want to tell myself that your heart is hot with real tears, or that you are still alive. I don’t know when I started to dare not see the ending of these tragedies, not because I was afraid that I could not accept the overwhelming and suffocating sadness in my imagination, but I always feel that I have nothing to do with this story after watching the final ending, and I have made a clean break with those people in the story who I cried, it is like saying goodbye to a friend I will never see again. This feeling is the same as writing the Alumni record when I graduated. I feel that after writing this thin paper, it will almost end up with all the stories of its owner. Therefore, the last character I wrote will always be an ellipsis, it not only means that I still have a lot of polite words to say, but also means that I hope that we will never be continued. Or because I am afraid of the feeling that I don’t expect and haven’t watched this movie, I can worry about it from time to time. If I finish watching it, my heart will become no pursuit, although I admit that the pursuit now is not to study hard and serve the motherland, it is really shameful… For example, although I have always been confused about who the advertisements and TV plays are and who the interviewers are, I just like to sit beside the TV and wait for two episodes every day instead of turning on the computer to fight for two days to see the ending, because waiting has also become my search for the sense of history. I am afraid of the feeling of empty in my heart, so waiting is a particularly happy thing, and there is a hope in my heart that gives me a sense of existence and security. People who don’t have a sense of existence want to create a sense of security.

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